Who knew a radio would make such a difference? I used to play K-Love or Air-1 for the boys, sometimes the Bible on cd. Whatever I played, my goal was to keep it Christian themed. Then somewhere along the way I stopped. I don't really know why, I just did. I guess I got tired of the boys playing with the CD's, or the settings, or the volume.
Well, two nights ago Stacy turned on the radio on their alarm clock, and the boys have really loved it. I turned it on for nap time today, and I didn't even have to scold them once for talking or playing.
What simple things make your bed time/nap time routines easier? How did you discover them?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Not by my own strength
http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com/home/2011/01/the-desperate-cry-of-a-mama/
I read this post and was inspired to share it, along with my own heart and thoughts.
I've been blogging a little bit about parenting, with my post on Raising Boys (http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/01/raising-boys.html), Spelling words & creating structure (http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/01/spelling-words-creating-structure.html), & Leading by Example (http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/01/leading-by-example.html).
I've noticed that the central theme in these blogs is about what we can do as parents, it's about action, and it's maybe a little bit too much about relying on our own understanding. Believe me when I say that parenting is impossible without God. I believe we must seek our Father in heaven, in prayer, by reading scripture, and by seeking advice from people who have gone before us on this journey, who have prayed for their kids for longer than we've had our own.
These children that I am blessed to have in my home and to know are not my own. These are God's children, and I hope and pray that I lead them to submit to Him with their whole hearts, their whole lives. I want to do right by them. I want to do a good job as a Mom. I want to have what it takes. But on my own, by myself, I do not. These little blessings are the Father's, and He shared them so graciously with me. Now I must take the responsibility back to the throne, and seek God's will for my role in their life, and His will for their lives.
As I read Brooke's words about praying not because I can, but because I can't, I cried. She is so right. While there are so many things I want to get right as I raise my boys, I can't. Prayer makes a difference, prayer can change the outcome. A lack of prayer makes a difference, and can change the outcome.
I pray that God will help me fight for my children spiritually and through prayer, with as much diligence and strength as I fight for their attention and education. I don't want them to miss Him because I neglected to pray. I don't want them to succumb to temptation because I forgot to pray. I don't want them to go out into the world without praying because I forgot to show them how to pray.
As I am learning how to raise Godly men, I am realizing that my first priority is to pray for them. Yet, the call to prayer doesn't stop there. I need to pray for me. I need to pray for their Dad. I need to pray for their youth leaders. I need to pray for their coaches, and group leaders, and their Sunday School teachers. I need to pray for them to be receptive. I need to pray for the lessons they are learning to take root and shape them into the men that God wants them to be.
We are all called to pray without ceasing, and prayer is our chance, our opportunity to connect with a God so big He spoke the world into existence – that same God is waiting to speak to you.
What is your prayer for your children? Are your children growing up or grown? How have your prayers changed as your children have changed?
I read this post and was inspired to share it, along with my own heart and thoughts.
I've been blogging a little bit about parenting, with my post on Raising Boys (http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/01/raising-boys.html), Spelling words & creating structure (http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/01/spelling-words-creating-structure.html), & Leading by Example (http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/01/leading-by-example.html).
I've noticed that the central theme in these blogs is about what we can do as parents, it's about action, and it's maybe a little bit too much about relying on our own understanding. Believe me when I say that parenting is impossible without God. I believe we must seek our Father in heaven, in prayer, by reading scripture, and by seeking advice from people who have gone before us on this journey, who have prayed for their kids for longer than we've had our own.
These children that I am blessed to have in my home and to know are not my own. These are God's children, and I hope and pray that I lead them to submit to Him with their whole hearts, their whole lives. I want to do right by them. I want to do a good job as a Mom. I want to have what it takes. But on my own, by myself, I do not. These little blessings are the Father's, and He shared them so graciously with me. Now I must take the responsibility back to the throne, and seek God's will for my role in their life, and His will for their lives.
As I read Brooke's words about praying not because I can, but because I can't, I cried. She is so right. While there are so many things I want to get right as I raise my boys, I can't. Prayer makes a difference, prayer can change the outcome. A lack of prayer makes a difference, and can change the outcome.
I pray that God will help me fight for my children spiritually and through prayer, with as much diligence and strength as I fight for their attention and education. I don't want them to miss Him because I neglected to pray. I don't want them to succumb to temptation because I forgot to pray. I don't want them to go out into the world without praying because I forgot to show them how to pray.
As I am learning how to raise Godly men, I am realizing that my first priority is to pray for them. Yet, the call to prayer doesn't stop there. I need to pray for me. I need to pray for their Dad. I need to pray for their youth leaders. I need to pray for their coaches, and group leaders, and their Sunday School teachers. I need to pray for them to be receptive. I need to pray for the lessons they are learning to take root and shape them into the men that God wants them to be.
We are all called to pray without ceasing, and prayer is our chance, our opportunity to connect with a God so big He spoke the world into existence – that same God is waiting to speak to you.
What is your prayer for your children? Are your children growing up or grown? How have your prayers changed as your children have changed?
Friday, January 28, 2011
Leading by Example
This post was inspired by a long conversation with my Mom about her growing up, me growing up, and now me raising children. We enjoy talking about the improvements we've made from what our Mom's did, and our own shortcomings, and frustrations, and those moments when we realize....we are a whole lot like our Mom's....I love my Momma – she is one amazing woman of God and I hope that I'm half the woman she is!
Are we teaching our children to lie? That's a thought provoking question, and I imagine most of us would say, NO WAY. Let's examine a scenario:
The phone rings, and your child answers. You're listening and have decided, for whatever reason (telemarketer, sister you're mad at, boss you don't want to talk to?), that you don't want to take the call, so you shake your head, indicating to your child to tell the caller you are not home/available. Clearly your child can see that you are in fact there, and could take the call.
How about this one:
You get invited to do something totally awesome, on a work day/school day (or any other prior obligation) – and with your child present you call in “sick”.
What about when we are driving? Do we ask our children to watch for police cars? They will notice that when they point one out, you slow down. Do you use your blinker? Come to a complete stop? Obey the speed limit? Your children are paying attention, and they are learning from you how to get away with breaking the rules.
Kids learn by example – in all areas of life. Are your children having a hard time respecting authority? Then examine your own heart, do you respect authority? Do your children lie? Look at yourself, when do you find yourself telling “harmless” lies? Lies are lies – especially to children. How about around the house? Children will commonly keep “their” space as well kept as their parents keep their personal space. In talking with other parents, even if the children don't automatically clean up, they are more apt to clean up when asked if the space the adults are responsible for is cleaned up.
I am convinced that for children to change, the parents must first change. Children are miniature reflections of ourselves, and it is extremely easy to see the worst behaviors we exhibit, in them. It's just as easy to separate those behaviors as something our children are doing and miss our own faults.
As I am writing tonight, I am thinking about my daily habits, examining the way I live my life, and asking what kind of example I am setting. I have fairly young children – 4 years old and 3 years old – and I want to make sure that I'm a living example of how I want them to live.
Do I treat the people around me with respect? Do I say please and thank you? Do I do the dishes when the sink is half full or when it is all the way full, and covering the majority of the counter? Do I pick up my dirty laundry? Do I speak respectfully to authority figures in my life? Do I obey the rules all of the time, or just when someone is watching? God is watching, all of the time. If I face life with that truth in mind, and obey the rules all the time, then I can help fully convey that message to my children. Words without action are empty, and lets face it, children have a hard enough time listening. If my words differ from my actions, they will act upon my actions, and my words will be wasted.
In what areas do you break the rules when nobody is looking? What example have you set that you are most focused on? What can you change about your daily life that will encourage your children to make positive changes in themselves?
Are we teaching our children to lie? That's a thought provoking question, and I imagine most of us would say, NO WAY. Let's examine a scenario:
The phone rings, and your child answers. You're listening and have decided, for whatever reason (telemarketer, sister you're mad at, boss you don't want to talk to?), that you don't want to take the call, so you shake your head, indicating to your child to tell the caller you are not home/available. Clearly your child can see that you are in fact there, and could take the call.
How about this one:
You get invited to do something totally awesome, on a work day/school day (or any other prior obligation) – and with your child present you call in “sick”.
What about when we are driving? Do we ask our children to watch for police cars? They will notice that when they point one out, you slow down. Do you use your blinker? Come to a complete stop? Obey the speed limit? Your children are paying attention, and they are learning from you how to get away with breaking the rules.
Kids learn by example – in all areas of life. Are your children having a hard time respecting authority? Then examine your own heart, do you respect authority? Do your children lie? Look at yourself, when do you find yourself telling “harmless” lies? Lies are lies – especially to children. How about around the house? Children will commonly keep “their” space as well kept as their parents keep their personal space. In talking with other parents, even if the children don't automatically clean up, they are more apt to clean up when asked if the space the adults are responsible for is cleaned up.
I am convinced that for children to change, the parents must first change. Children are miniature reflections of ourselves, and it is extremely easy to see the worst behaviors we exhibit, in them. It's just as easy to separate those behaviors as something our children are doing and miss our own faults.
As I am writing tonight, I am thinking about my daily habits, examining the way I live my life, and asking what kind of example I am setting. I have fairly young children – 4 years old and 3 years old – and I want to make sure that I'm a living example of how I want them to live.
Do I treat the people around me with respect? Do I say please and thank you? Do I do the dishes when the sink is half full or when it is all the way full, and covering the majority of the counter? Do I pick up my dirty laundry? Do I speak respectfully to authority figures in my life? Do I obey the rules all of the time, or just when someone is watching? God is watching, all of the time. If I face life with that truth in mind, and obey the rules all the time, then I can help fully convey that message to my children. Words without action are empty, and lets face it, children have a hard enough time listening. If my words differ from my actions, they will act upon my actions, and my words will be wasted.
In what areas do you break the rules when nobody is looking? What example have you set that you are most focused on? What can you change about your daily life that will encourage your children to make positive changes in themselves?
Deafness by choice
God reminded me of a very profound truth recently, and as I've been growing closer to Him again, I've realized it was always me who pulled away, He was always there, waiting for me to return to Him...
When you make up your mind that there is something you won't do for God, it doesn't matter if that is or is not what He wants, you have already shut down, and shut Him out.
Guilty as charged. When my snoozer walked out the front door and up that hill, I made up in my mind what I was going to do, and I decided then and there that I would not let God talk to me about reconciliation. I became hard & stubborn - and I protected my wounds from my God, my Healer, my Wonderful Counselor. The only one that could truly administer healing to my hurting heart was waiting for me to come to Him, and I stomped my foot and told Him that reconciliation was not an option, and I then refused to receive anything from Him.
I know God is a God of reconciliation and restoration. I know God is not for divorce. I knew that I had contributed to the marital problems that drove us apart, so while I wanted to stand on the whole adultery "clause" for getting out of a marriage, somehow I didn't think I could. So I got out the brick & mortar and I built a very cold wall. With every brick I laid down, and every swipe of mortar across the top to add another, I kept telling God, "Don't tell me about reconciliation." You want to know the most dangerous part about this? Because I wouldn't hear a message about reconciliation in my marriage, I also couldn't hear a message about the reconciliation God offered us through Christ on the cross and raised from the dead.
I wanted to serve God, I wanted to be close to Him, I wanted His hand working in my life. I would see glimpses of it, and I longed for it. I felt empty. I tried to go to church, but even regular attendance to church dropped off because I would hear that repeated message of reconciliation and I would scream "NO!" at the top of my lungs. That man hurt me too bad for me to hear this from You. You know the wounds, but since You seem to poke at them, I'm going to withdraw further, and all along it was my mis-perception, my misunderstanding, my lack of trusting that God can do all things. That Christ is my strength. That God has healing, even for broken, sinful me.
Almost dying sure changed my perspective, and I realized that God didn't go anywhere...and God didn't build that brick wall (and what a sloppy, messy wall it was!). That was my doing, because I refused to hear God - I refused to hear God on something that I'm not sure He was saying at the time. I know God's heart is for reconciliation and restoration, and I know now that God doesn't expect me to chase after that in my own strength. Rest assured, I am not strong enough to live that out through all the hurts in my life. I do, however, serve a God that brings healing to the wounded and hope to the lost, and as He fills my cup, and as I press into Him, He shines through. His strength fills me, and even when I feel like I can't do it, He nudges me on, and holds me up.
Have you ever told God that there is something you won't do? Was He really asking you to do that, or was it something you decided you would never let Him ask you to do? How did you overcome that and where are you in your relationship with God now?
When you make up your mind that there is something you won't do for God, it doesn't matter if that is or is not what He wants, you have already shut down, and shut Him out.
Guilty as charged. When my snoozer walked out the front door and up that hill, I made up in my mind what I was going to do, and I decided then and there that I would not let God talk to me about reconciliation. I became hard & stubborn - and I protected my wounds from my God, my Healer, my Wonderful Counselor. The only one that could truly administer healing to my hurting heart was waiting for me to come to Him, and I stomped my foot and told Him that reconciliation was not an option, and I then refused to receive anything from Him.
I know God is a God of reconciliation and restoration. I know God is not for divorce. I knew that I had contributed to the marital problems that drove us apart, so while I wanted to stand on the whole adultery "clause" for getting out of a marriage, somehow I didn't think I could. So I got out the brick & mortar and I built a very cold wall. With every brick I laid down, and every swipe of mortar across the top to add another, I kept telling God, "Don't tell me about reconciliation." You want to know the most dangerous part about this? Because I wouldn't hear a message about reconciliation in my marriage, I also couldn't hear a message about the reconciliation God offered us through Christ on the cross and raised from the dead.
I wanted to serve God, I wanted to be close to Him, I wanted His hand working in my life. I would see glimpses of it, and I longed for it. I felt empty. I tried to go to church, but even regular attendance to church dropped off because I would hear that repeated message of reconciliation and I would scream "NO!" at the top of my lungs. That man hurt me too bad for me to hear this from You. You know the wounds, but since You seem to poke at them, I'm going to withdraw further, and all along it was my mis-perception, my misunderstanding, my lack of trusting that God can do all things. That Christ is my strength. That God has healing, even for broken, sinful me.
Almost dying sure changed my perspective, and I realized that God didn't go anywhere...and God didn't build that brick wall (and what a sloppy, messy wall it was!). That was my doing, because I refused to hear God - I refused to hear God on something that I'm not sure He was saying at the time. I know God's heart is for reconciliation and restoration, and I know now that God doesn't expect me to chase after that in my own strength. Rest assured, I am not strong enough to live that out through all the hurts in my life. I do, however, serve a God that brings healing to the wounded and hope to the lost, and as He fills my cup, and as I press into Him, He shines through. His strength fills me, and even when I feel like I can't do it, He nudges me on, and holds me up.
Have you ever told God that there is something you won't do? Was He really asking you to do that, or was it something you decided you would never let Him ask you to do? How did you overcome that and where are you in your relationship with God now?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Friendship!
(I cannot take credit for all of these wonderful questions, Julie Richard spoke a beautiful message to us @ Journey church Monday night, and I am sharing some of the thought provoking points that really made me think!)
I got the great blessing of getting to go to "Girlfriends" at Journey Monday night, and am so thankful I went. Stacy kept the boys, and I got to spend some time with a few of my favorite people. The message was amazing, and I've been thinking about it today, really asking myself what kind of friend I am, and what kind of friends I have in my inner circle.
Julie told us that a herd of zebra are called a dazzle. She said that when one zebra is being chased or hunted it will run to it's dazzle, and the predator will become confused by all of the stripes and will leave them alone. Pretty fascinating.
She then used that point to talk about our closest group of girlfriends - and whether they help us dazzle or not. Here are some of the points/questions she used, and hopefully these will help you, too!
Are you a balcony friend, or a basement friend?
A balcony friend lifts up and encourages. A balcony friend is happy for you when something good happens in your life. A balcony friend prays for you, and knows that God has a dream for your life. A balcony friend encourages you to reach for that dream.
A basement friend wallows around in the wah-wah, is jealous or angry when something good happens in your life, and doesn't do much to help you reach for the dream God has for you.
(Oh boy...I don't want to wallow around in the wah-wah...I want to be a balcony friend!)
Are you a Labrador, or a vulture?
A Labrador is loyal, faithful, and quick to forgive.
A vulture is a betrayer, and offers no forgiveness. They pick at everything until there is nothing but bones left.
(Again, I'm thinking, Oh boy, do I pick at everything like that??)
Are you a fire-putter-outter...or a pot stirrer?
She really applied this to social media comments, but also to in-person comments too.
If someone says, "Oh ya know, she's just so blah blah blah" about your friend, do you harmlessly say "I know what you mean." or do you keep your mouth shut? Sometimes we don't have to say something that is directly bad to stir the pot. Sometimes those harmless comments aren't so harmless.
She advised us to avoid the drama. Just walk away from it. Don't stir the pot.
We should all follow Jesus' example to love everybody. Yet even Jesus had his 12 friends that were closer to Him than the multitude as a whole, and inside the 12, He had 3 that He spent the most time with. We should use discernment when picking who we will allow to speak into our lives - love everybody, but look for friends that will help you, pray for you, and encourage you to reach your God-given potential, because God is whispering, and it's hard enough to hear Him over the husband and kids and every day life - we don't need to be sorting out the voice of a negative friend (or friends), too. Everybody has bad days, but if your friends are wreaking havoc on your life, it's time to ask God to help you find friends that want what God has for you!
I got the great blessing of getting to go to "Girlfriends" at Journey Monday night, and am so thankful I went. Stacy kept the boys, and I got to spend some time with a few of my favorite people. The message was amazing, and I've been thinking about it today, really asking myself what kind of friend I am, and what kind of friends I have in my inner circle.
Julie told us that a herd of zebra are called a dazzle. She said that when one zebra is being chased or hunted it will run to it's dazzle, and the predator will become confused by all of the stripes and will leave them alone. Pretty fascinating.
She then used that point to talk about our closest group of girlfriends - and whether they help us dazzle or not. Here are some of the points/questions she used, and hopefully these will help you, too!
Are you a balcony friend, or a basement friend?
A balcony friend lifts up and encourages. A balcony friend is happy for you when something good happens in your life. A balcony friend prays for you, and knows that God has a dream for your life. A balcony friend encourages you to reach for that dream.
A basement friend wallows around in the wah-wah, is jealous or angry when something good happens in your life, and doesn't do much to help you reach for the dream God has for you.
(Oh boy...I don't want to wallow around in the wah-wah...I want to be a balcony friend!)
Are you a Labrador, or a vulture?
A Labrador is loyal, faithful, and quick to forgive.
A vulture is a betrayer, and offers no forgiveness. They pick at everything until there is nothing but bones left.
(Again, I'm thinking, Oh boy, do I pick at everything like that??)
Are you a fire-putter-outter...or a pot stirrer?
She really applied this to social media comments, but also to in-person comments too.
If someone says, "Oh ya know, she's just so blah blah blah" about your friend, do you harmlessly say "I know what you mean." or do you keep your mouth shut? Sometimes we don't have to say something that is directly bad to stir the pot. Sometimes those harmless comments aren't so harmless.
She advised us to avoid the drama. Just walk away from it. Don't stir the pot.
We should all follow Jesus' example to love everybody. Yet even Jesus had his 12 friends that were closer to Him than the multitude as a whole, and inside the 12, He had 3 that He spent the most time with. We should use discernment when picking who we will allow to speak into our lives - love everybody, but look for friends that will help you, pray for you, and encourage you to reach your God-given potential, because God is whispering, and it's hard enough to hear Him over the husband and kids and every day life - we don't need to be sorting out the voice of a negative friend (or friends), too. Everybody has bad days, but if your friends are wreaking havoc on your life, it's time to ask God to help you find friends that want what God has for you!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Restoration
Restore:
1: give back, return
2: to put or bring back into existence or use
3: to bring back to or put back into a former or original state : renew
Renew:
1: to make like new : restore to freshness, vigor, or perfection
What a great big God we serve. That He genuinely cares for us and wants to have a relationship with us still catches me off guard at times. I know I'm not worthy of such a great love, of such devotion, or of a relationship with my Almighty God, Awesome Creator, Wonderful Counselor. Yet, that's the beauty of grace and salvation – God restored us to Himself, by sending His own son, that we may be adopted into His family by the blood of Jesus. Thank you Lord, for bringing me back to You!
This one act of grace, the gift of Jesus, shows me the heart of God in so many ways. He loves us – without end. He wants us to be in relationship with Him. He is the author of restoration and renewal. Our God offers us His unconditional, redeeming love, and He offers it freely, without prejudice. We must confess His Son to be our Savior, accept His death on the cross as payment, and we are renewed. Jesus did the work for this one so you don't have to. So I don't have to.
I've thought many times before, and pushed the thought aside, if God is the author of restoration, and I vowed before Him to be married to Stacy until death do us part, wouldn't it make sense that God would want that relationship restored? I've hidden from this thought, pushed it aside, and ignored it many times. It terrifies me. Why would God expect that of me? Didn't He see how horribly wrong things went? Doesn't He remember? I think He remembers more clearly than I, and I believe He offers grace to both of us, equally.
I believe that marriage is supposed to be a covenant relationship – it's meant to only be undone by death. I have never thought divorce was a good idea, and I can't even say I thought it was necessarily the right choice when I made it. I wasn't looking to God for answers, I was looking to the world. Trust me when I tell you, it's easy to find justification for divorce when you look to the world. Just about everybody has an opinion about it, and most of them think it's an acceptable option. I suppose there are times when it is, but getting a divorce felt like sin to me. A big ugly stain of sin on my life. I've asked God to forgive me for it, but until recently, I wasn't walking in that forgiveness. I was distancing myself from God because I was afraid of what He might expect me to do. I've known all along that God is a God of reconciliation, and for one, how do I face my fears and be reconciled with someone that hurt me so badly? And for two: how do I face the world and tell them that I'm not only going to offer grace and forgiveness, but that I am considering the commitment I made to my husband before God, and that if God's will is to reconcile that relationship, then I won't stand in His way.
Have you ever experienced God's restoration in a relationship? With a spouse? Parent? Child? Friend? Tell me about it!
Romans 12:1-3 (NIV 2010) 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
1: give back, return
2: to put or bring back into existence or use
3: to bring back to or put back into a former or original state : renew
Renew:
1: to make like new : restore to freshness, vigor, or perfection
What a great big God we serve. That He genuinely cares for us and wants to have a relationship with us still catches me off guard at times. I know I'm not worthy of such a great love, of such devotion, or of a relationship with my Almighty God, Awesome Creator, Wonderful Counselor. Yet, that's the beauty of grace and salvation – God restored us to Himself, by sending His own son, that we may be adopted into His family by the blood of Jesus. Thank you Lord, for bringing me back to You!
This one act of grace, the gift of Jesus, shows me the heart of God in so many ways. He loves us – without end. He wants us to be in relationship with Him. He is the author of restoration and renewal. Our God offers us His unconditional, redeeming love, and He offers it freely, without prejudice. We must confess His Son to be our Savior, accept His death on the cross as payment, and we are renewed. Jesus did the work for this one so you don't have to. So I don't have to.
I've thought many times before, and pushed the thought aside, if God is the author of restoration, and I vowed before Him to be married to Stacy until death do us part, wouldn't it make sense that God would want that relationship restored? I've hidden from this thought, pushed it aside, and ignored it many times. It terrifies me. Why would God expect that of me? Didn't He see how horribly wrong things went? Doesn't He remember? I think He remembers more clearly than I, and I believe He offers grace to both of us, equally.
I believe that marriage is supposed to be a covenant relationship – it's meant to only be undone by death. I have never thought divorce was a good idea, and I can't even say I thought it was necessarily the right choice when I made it. I wasn't looking to God for answers, I was looking to the world. Trust me when I tell you, it's easy to find justification for divorce when you look to the world. Just about everybody has an opinion about it, and most of them think it's an acceptable option. I suppose there are times when it is, but getting a divorce felt like sin to me. A big ugly stain of sin on my life. I've asked God to forgive me for it, but until recently, I wasn't walking in that forgiveness. I was distancing myself from God because I was afraid of what He might expect me to do. I've known all along that God is a God of reconciliation, and for one, how do I face my fears and be reconciled with someone that hurt me so badly? And for two: how do I face the world and tell them that I'm not only going to offer grace and forgiveness, but that I am considering the commitment I made to my husband before God, and that if God's will is to reconcile that relationship, then I won't stand in His way.
Have you ever experienced God's restoration in a relationship? With a spouse? Parent? Child? Friend? Tell me about it!
Romans 12:1-3 (NIV 2010) 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Romantic Notions: Part 3
(Part 1: http://realliferealmessy.blogspot.com/2011/01/romantic-notions-part-1.html)
(Part 2: http://realliferealmessy.blogspot.com/2011/01/romantic-notions-part-2.html)
Well, God is doing all of this great work in my life, He is softening my heart, He is leading me again as I struggle to hand over the controls, I'm trying Lord, be patient with me. He is showing me more of what He wants from me. He is helping me develop my God-given talents. He is calling and I am answering. I think over the last week He's been unwrapping the dirty bandage. I was really afraid of the stench we would find there, and I'm sure there is some, but I think we discovered something even more interesting. I'm protecting a wound that has mostly healed. It's mostly a scar now. Scars can be tender too, they are certainly reminders of devastation and heartache. But there's less protection needed for a scar. That means that for sometime now I've been living like the wounded, allowing wound-defending behaviors to rule my life. This is dangerous for me and everyone else. Because those behaviors breed other bad behaviors – greed, envy, jealousy, pride, bitterness....all of those bad fruits that we don't want to grow as Christians.
I pray that as the next days and weeks unfold, God will strip away the bad behaviors, and all the defense mechanisms, and that He will shine through. I pray that He will lay His loving hand over the scar and bring more healing. I pray that any hidden infection will be cast out, and that the Blood of Jesus will wash over me, making me new and transforming me. I also pray that God will help me to see the world from a perspective of grace, offering forgiveness freely, and giving the wounds to Him for His grace and healing to cover me.
I know we serve a God of reconciliation – that's why He sent Jesus, He wanted to reconcile us to Himself. This is a huge concept for me, and once that I get asked about a lot, in the form of, “So, are you two back together?” Well, I don't know what the future holds. For now we are great friends, raising two great kids together, and learning to do life together. It is hard to share a home and a life with someone. I have to admit, it's a bit harder when you aren't sharing as spouses, but rather just as parents, but maybe this is God's way of teaching us to walk through the storms in unity. Maybe, through the prayers of our wonderful families, our Mom's, our church families, friends, and others that I may not even realize, and maybe because God is a God of reconciliation, this strange little thing of ours will turn into more.
So, back to the romantic notions. Maybe the someone I can share those dinners with will be Stacy. I know he surprised me with a beautiful rose the other day, and it made me smile. I know it scares me to admit that I might ever consider anything other than this. I also know that I hate making the first move, and I don't know how to change my position in a way that will be recognized. To add to what I know...I know to wait and go slow. I know that rushing anything would not be wise, and I know my kids don't need to be hurt repeatedly by the stupid choices adults make. So tonight I'm wondering and praying for God's will in this really messy life of ours. I'm praying that He will mold us both, and that He will grow in both of our hearts a desire to seek Him, pursue Him and live for Him. I pray that we will find our peace, strength, and healing in Him and Him alone. I pray that when I get defensive He will remind me that He is guarding and healing the scar, and that the wound is not there anymore.
I would love to hear your thoughts about wounds, healing, reconciliation, etc. Please comment below with anything you'd like to add, any questions you have, or what your prayer is in your current romantic situation!
(Part 2: http://realliferealmessy.blogspot.com/2011/01/romantic-notions-part-2.html)
Well, God is doing all of this great work in my life, He is softening my heart, He is leading me again as I struggle to hand over the controls, I'm trying Lord, be patient with me. He is showing me more of what He wants from me. He is helping me develop my God-given talents. He is calling and I am answering. I think over the last week He's been unwrapping the dirty bandage. I was really afraid of the stench we would find there, and I'm sure there is some, but I think we discovered something even more interesting. I'm protecting a wound that has mostly healed. It's mostly a scar now. Scars can be tender too, they are certainly reminders of devastation and heartache. But there's less protection needed for a scar. That means that for sometime now I've been living like the wounded, allowing wound-defending behaviors to rule my life. This is dangerous for me and everyone else. Because those behaviors breed other bad behaviors – greed, envy, jealousy, pride, bitterness....all of those bad fruits that we don't want to grow as Christians.
I pray that as the next days and weeks unfold, God will strip away the bad behaviors, and all the defense mechanisms, and that He will shine through. I pray that He will lay His loving hand over the scar and bring more healing. I pray that any hidden infection will be cast out, and that the Blood of Jesus will wash over me, making me new and transforming me. I also pray that God will help me to see the world from a perspective of grace, offering forgiveness freely, and giving the wounds to Him for His grace and healing to cover me.
I know we serve a God of reconciliation – that's why He sent Jesus, He wanted to reconcile us to Himself. This is a huge concept for me, and once that I get asked about a lot, in the form of, “So, are you two back together?” Well, I don't know what the future holds. For now we are great friends, raising two great kids together, and learning to do life together. It is hard to share a home and a life with someone. I have to admit, it's a bit harder when you aren't sharing as spouses, but rather just as parents, but maybe this is God's way of teaching us to walk through the storms in unity. Maybe, through the prayers of our wonderful families, our Mom's, our church families, friends, and others that I may not even realize, and maybe because God is a God of reconciliation, this strange little thing of ours will turn into more.
So, back to the romantic notions. Maybe the someone I can share those dinners with will be Stacy. I know he surprised me with a beautiful rose the other day, and it made me smile. I know it scares me to admit that I might ever consider anything other than this. I also know that I hate making the first move, and I don't know how to change my position in a way that will be recognized. To add to what I know...I know to wait and go slow. I know that rushing anything would not be wise, and I know my kids don't need to be hurt repeatedly by the stupid choices adults make. So tonight I'm wondering and praying for God's will in this really messy life of ours. I'm praying that He will mold us both, and that He will grow in both of our hearts a desire to seek Him, pursue Him and live for Him. I pray that we will find our peace, strength, and healing in Him and Him alone. I pray that when I get defensive He will remind me that He is guarding and healing the scar, and that the wound is not there anymore.
I would love to hear your thoughts about wounds, healing, reconciliation, etc. Please comment below with anything you'd like to add, any questions you have, or what your prayer is in your current romantic situation!
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