A Real Cowboy!

Kid's say and do the darndest things. Let me explain. Yesterday we adventured to the library, then to Dollar General for some milk. Having selected our milk and a couple of snacks, we were waiting to check out. As it got to be out turn, a man stepped up behind us, in cowboy boots, wearing a cowboy hat, and Asher turned to talk to him. Asher told him he was a real nice guy, then suddenly, as if just realizing how the man was dressed, he asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

Now, I am naturally inclined to be embarassed, I think, because I instantly wanted to stop my boy in his tracks. Yet, that man was so thrilled by Asher's sincere expression and excitement. He told him, "I supposed I am, I've got five horses." He let Asher think about this, then asked him, "Do you like horses?" Asher literally jumped off the ground, nodded, and told him, "I do, I have one, I have a Cheeky." I was pretty sure the man didn't quite understand, so I told him, "We actually have a horse, too." The boys told the "real" cowboy bye, and waved, and as we were leaving the store, they both let me know how cool it was to meet a "real" cowboy!

Maybe today I'll shock them by telling them that they are "real" cowboys too - hats, boots, and a horse included!

Dear Book

Dear Book,

     My life still needs me. You see, I have two great children. Boys, actually, two boys, and they are 5 and 3 years old. They need my attention. I am homeschooling them, so I must take time to educate them properly. Don't think I say this begrudgingly - quite the contrary, I love schooling my kiddos, and I am so thankful to be learning alongside them. We also have a dog. Now, I am blessed with the most mellow dog on the planet. He just lays around all day long. Yet, he still needs food, water, walking, and petting. All of us are currently housed in a two bedroom apartment. Although that is changing soon, the housework will be increasing with the size of the home. I must keep up with the laundry, and the dishes.
     My dear friend Book, I have also decided to embark on a journey toward physical health. I am now requring myself to MAKE time each day for exercise, and I am planning my meals in advance so that I eat more healthfully. So, while I would like to be confined to your pages, for hours upon endless hours, I cannot cave into this temptation. You must please bare with me and keep in mind that my family had me first, and my home did too. You are just supposed to be squeezed in as I can fit you.
     With that being said, please know that I am doing something completely out of the ordinary for myself. I am now getting up between 4 and 5 AM to dedicate some time to you. Please feel honored by this, and please take what you can get without begging me for more. I am not, however, asking for all ideas to stop flowing. Rather, I want you to continue to inspire me, I want to have those random thoughts that turn into written magic. I want to continue to experience the ups and downs that come with writing you.
     I have written this all in love, my dear friend Book. You have been a great addition to my life, and I plan on keeping you around until you are completed. I hope to see you published and sitting upon my shelf someday in the near future. I want you to sit there, on the shelf, as my first work of written art, and while you sit there, I hope you inspire me to greatness. Okay, well, that last part is a bit blown out of proportion. I hope and pray that God fills me with inspiration and that He helps me achieve greatness...through you, and many more literary masterpieces. Is it to soon to consider you a masterpiece? Certainly no! I have children, and each piece is a masterpiece...and each masterpiece is better than the last!

Sincerely,
Your Loving Author

My Dream Writing Space

Some of you may know, some may not, but I love to write! ;) I'm working on a book, have ideas for a few others, plus my blog here. Well, I have two blogs, actually. One about my journey to getting physically healthier, and this one. Tonight, I'm going to imagine a little...and what I'll be imagining is my dream writing space...

Let's just say there's more hours in a day, and I've cooked, cleaned, played, educated, and all other things Mom, and I am now entering that serene place where I write...and write....and write!

I would have a well lit room, with a window or two. Sitting along one wall would be a wood desk, with drawers on the right. I would own a comfortable office chair, and the floor would be easy to roll around on.
A friend of mine actually owns the desk (or at least one just like it!) that I want - she puts her TV on it....
I would have my computer set up at the desk. I would have a notebook and pen on the desk, and my printer would be there as well. There would be pens, red and black, in the drawers, along with other notebooks. Each book would get it's very own notebook. I would have a bookshelf to the right of me, with three ring binders, books for research, and anything currently inspirational for this project.

Under the window to the left of me would be a cute little stand that matched the bookcase and desk, and it would have a CD player on top of it. It would have drawers, and in those drawers would be the music that inspires me when I write.

Ultimately I would get to spend 4 hours a day, 4 or 5 days a week, writing my books and blogs.

Don't forget, the coaster on the desk. To keep from getting water stains, but so that I don't get dehydrated from all of that hard work. There would be plenty of room for pacing, so I could think out an idea if need be!

This room would be my writing room...I also have dreams for a hobby (read: scrapbooking!) room...

What is your dream space?

Made in His Image...

God has been leading me, teaching me, molding me. Some of God's changes are welcome, some are not so much. Most of them are hard to make. Worth it, but hard.

God's been reminding me how we are made in His image. This is hard for me to grasp, but lately here is what's been on my heart. We are made in His image, He is NOT made in our image. This is beautiful to me for a few reasons:

1.) God made us like Him, and He created us with freedom. What we did in the past, and continue to do with that freedom, is our own doing. If we are not seeking to live with Him, and obedient to Him, that is our choice, and we cannot blame Him for the outcome.

2.) Of all of the things I've ever created, I can't fathom worshiping any of it. Nothing I've ever created has the ability to create, or the breath of life in it. Granted, I grew a baby in my belly, but I can't take credit for creating either of those babies. I didn't make the egg, or the sperm. I didn't create the beautifully complex process of conception.

3.) I am flawed, so therefore I will only ever create a flawed god, if I try to create my own god. God, however, is perfect, He is glorious. He is complete. He created me. What I've done with the freedom He created me with is my own choice. From here forward, I want to experience my freedom from God, by living within the boundaries He lovingly gives me. I want to honor and glorify Him by my choices...by my whole life.

Faith or Fear?

2 Timothy 1:6-8 (King James Version)


6 Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.

7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

8 Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;

God has been moving mountains lately and speaking to my heart. He is tearing down walls and stirring me. I want more of Him. I want to live for Him. I want to be fully devoted. Yet, as I get excited in the quiet place, alone with God, I find my excitement gets zapped away to nothing in the "real world".

I walk out of my quiet place and suddenly I don't want to be the weird one. Let me explain!

I feel a deep sense of urgency to lay hands on and pray for people who are sick. Randomly, in public even. Like, people who are coughing, or more profoundly, people in wheel chairs. I cannot count the times I have shrunk away from that urge, left the isle I was on, or even left the store I was in. I mean, really, what would someone think?

My perception of what they would think: Freak. Don't touch me. Get off me. Go away. Crazy. Loon.
I'm certain that they would not only think these things, but shout them. Yell at me. Run me off. So I don't even try. I wonder what God thinks when I do that.

Yet, God doesn't yell. It hurts me to say that I have at times, many of them, found it easier to ignore the quiet voice of God, then to ignore the mere chance that someone might yell at me.

I don't want to live consumed by this fear. I want to go boldly and I want to be a flute. You see, a flute does nothing until someone plays it. Then the wind flows through it and a beautiful sound is emitted. But alone, the flute cannot do this. I want God to play a beautiful melody through me. He created me in just the right way, with just the right talents, for His purposes. Yet, alone, I am nothing. I want Him to send me, and I want His power to flow through me.

I no longer want this complacent, best friend image of Jesus. This image of Jesus too often blurs with what I have experienced in friendship. The watered down, whatever works for you, I won't offend you, please don't offend me, kind of friendship. I want to experience the POWER of Jesus. I want the richness of truth, I want the hard facts. I don't want to go with what "works for me" I want to go with the truth.

Yet, I'm writing this from inside a safe place, sitting behind my computer. This doesn't take much work.

Now I have to ask myself, will I walk out my front door and live in faith or fear?

Born Sinful

We are born into sin. This truth stops me in my tracks now that I have children. Okay, correction...this truth stopped me in my tracks when my children were smaller. I can see it a little bit, now. However, when I was holding my newborn baby boy, the idea that he was born into sin was hard to believe, at best. In fact, I think I even doubted that it was true. Honestly, what seems sinful about a baby?

Now that I am sharing a home and life with two boys, boys that walk, talk, and form opinions, I am starting to see it a little bit. They assert themselves, they test boundaries, they display the worst behaviors possible in the most public of places. They talk back, throw fits, demand to have their way, they are even generally selfish. Don't read this wrong, I love my children. I am passionate about raising my children, and I am thankful to have them. I am also certain that the fall of man made the raising of children a very different, and difficult, process.

When God told Eve she would have pain in child-bearing, I previously only considered that to be a "during labor & delivery" statement. I am beginning to think that was only the beginning. God knew that we would have to cope with and correct the sins of our children and that it would be a painful process to bear with them in love as they grow.

We must raise up our children, we cannot just let them grow up – they will have a birthday every year, but that doesn't change anything but the number of their age. We must teach them what sin is, what temptation is, how to recognize it, avoid it, and repent from it. We are called to teach them about their Creator, and His love, His wrath, His death on the cross, His forgiveness, His will, His word.

As I deal with the next bad choice, I pray that God gives me the right words. I pray that I don't over-emphasize "right" behavior, and under-emphasize a dependence on God and their need for a Saviour. Now, don't get me wrong. I will continue to correct my children, but they are not perfect, and all of my corrections will never make them be perfect. I pray that I don't teach them to try to be perfect, but rather to seek God, and His forgiveness. These are the years when they learn where to turn, and on whom to rely. I don't want them to be self-reliant, or to rely on this world, or me, or friends, etc. I want them to rely on God.

How do you handle bad choices and sinful behavior in your children? How do you help lead them to the cross when they miss the mark?

Audibly Claustrophobic

2011 is a year of revelations. A year of growth.

My most recent discovery: I am audibly claustrophobic (from here out: AC). Would you like to know what I mean by that? When it gets loud around me, specifically when there are a variety of loud sounds, I get stressed out, feel a bit closed in, and I get CRABBY.

Me, crabby? Never! Okay, okay, I am kidding. I get crabby. I've been trying to identify some of my triggers, and noise is definitely one of them. Now, I can handle the kids yelling and screaming, or worship at church. Combine the kids screaming, with the TV being up too loud, and the dryer running - that's when we are headed for crabby Momma.

I was thinking about this today, trying to decide if there was someway to curb the crabbiness, even when I get overwhelmed. An interesting thought popped into my head. How much noise does God hear? I cannot fathom all the incoming prayers, the constant praise He is receiving from the angels in heaven, and our loved ones that are with Him, worshipping Him. Consider the fact that the world is experiencing "day time" at all times, in other words, just because it's night where I am, doesn't mean it's night all around the world. There isn't even room to say that maybe enough people are sleeping at the same time to make it quiet for God for just a moment. I am praising God for His ability to 1: handle all of that noise without getting crabby, and 2: being able to filter my small cry from all of that noise and respond to me in His loving and infinitely wise way!

As I am trying to find ways to cope with the stress that noise causes me to feel, I am also seeking a way to filter out the important voices in my life. God, of course, is the most important voice in my life. I want to hear Him despite the noise. I also want to hear and respond correctly to my children, even when I'm overwhelmed by the volume in the room or truck. I also want to be able to listen to my friends and respond accordingly.

What things affect your mood? Have you found ways to deal with being overwhelmed, without taking it out on the people around you?