Balance: Necessity or Distraction?

Balance: to have an equality or equivalence in weight, parts, etc.; be in equilibrium

Also defined: : to arrange so that one set of elements exactly equals another

We all strive for balance don't we? I know many times I've said "I just need more balance in my life." It all becomes a balancing act. How much time can I devote to homeschooling, while still keeping up with my house? How much time can I spend online while still keeping up with my work? How much money can I spend without digging us deeper into the pit of debt? How much time can I let my children spend watching TV, so I can accomplish something around the house, while still fostering in them the desire to play and use their own imaginations? How much time can I devote to volunteering while still caring for my family? How many nights can we have a pre-arranged obligation (sports, dance, small groups, etc.) and how many nights should we be home? Where do I fit in time to read my Bible? Pray? Exercise? Shower? Change every one's sheets? Switch the laundry?

Then there is the challenge to eat balanced meals! And no one agrees on what that is. Meat, no meat, one vegetable or two, whole grain or not, 3 ounces or 4?

The strain that living a balanced life places on us is at times like a weight that can't be countered. Balance is about perfection, and last time I checked, I still wasn't able to achieve perfection on my own.

Then I had a thought. This was another one of those, as I close my eyes, trying to sleep for the night, my mind won't stop, thoughts. I sat up, and really had to consider it....

Did Jesus live a life that culturally would have been considered balanced?

I have to guess, from what we know of His life, that no, He did not. We know from scripture (Matt. 4:1-11) that Jesus went into the wilderness and fasted forty days and forty nights. I believe that Jesus was not eating or drinking. He didn't just give up sweets, or fried foods, or Facebook. He was not eating or drinking - for forty days and forty nights. Enter: Balance...where? I can't see it. He was tempted by the devil to turn rocks into food, He was tempted to prove Himself as the Son of God, He was tempted to worship Satan in trade for the glory of the kingdoms of the world. Starving, in a way that I can only imagine, He faithfully resisted the devil and He sent Satan away from Him. What about that speaks of balance? No balanced meals, no balancing work with the call of God on His life. He was called into the wilderness for a time of what I imagine to be profound growth and preparation for what was to come. He was focused, but I don't see balance in this picture.

How about Matt. 4:18-20? Jesus called two brothers, Simon called Peter and Andrew, who were fishermen, to leave their life's work, their careers, to follow Him. Enter: Balance...again I ask, where? He didn't ask them to work 40 hours a week instead of 50...He didn't ask them to devote an hour on Wednesday night to Him. He didn't ask for lip service, He asked for life service. He didn't want to be balanced in the midst of a prosperous career, a healthy family life, the right shows on TV, the right night to go to church. He wanted to be the center of it all and He wanted them to live with their focus on following Him.

How about Matt. 14:15-21 when the 5000 men, not including women and children, had followed Him to the desert, listening intently to His words? He didn't stop them all and send them to pack a picnic, He didn't stop feeding their spirits so that they could go feed their bodies. Enter: Balance....you got it, where? He didn't stop meeting their deep inner needs to worry about their bodies. Granted, He was Jesus and He performed a miracle, but He was more concerned about their hearts than their stomachs.

Or how about the Savior of the world, hanging on a cross, condemned, taking all of the sin of the world, paying the price for every sin we've ever committed, yet having lived an innocent life? He had not sinned before God, not once. Yet, He died for all, and more personally, He died for me. He had a calling on His life, one that required Him to live an out-of-balance life, yet He lived it perfectly. He knew that His power came from the Father, and He was at all times giving His Father the glory that is rightly His.

So today, as we are pressured to find the right balance, let me challenge you to tap into the source of power Himself, pray earnestly. Let God fill you to overflowing, and let Him draw you out of your balancing act. Let Him guide your steps, and follow His calling on your life. Don't let the cultural drive to make life a balancing act become a distraction from what God has for you. See, the devil is a master at changing our focus, because he knows that when we connect with God and live into our God-given, God-glorifying potential, that he will be squashed. The devil holds no more power over us than we allow him, yet he is a master of disguise. It's not often that the devil will tempt us with something so boldly labeled as sin, with a neon light flashing "Disobey God!" - because most of us would run away, or cast him out with the name of Jesus. The devil is powerless against the name of Jesus.

The devil is a master of distraction. He knows if he can slow you down, if he can shift your focus, if he can captivate your attention, then you will not live into the power that God is ready and waiting to give you. He knows that if you are distracted then you will not be as effective in the body of Christ, the church, your family, or ministry. If he can distract you, then he can prevent the salvation of another. He knows that once you're saved he can't erase the grace that God has covered you with, but he does know that once you're saved, if you live your life ineffectively, if you live your life distracted, he can prevent you from bringing another person to the grace of God, to the gift of salvation.

So, is balance a necessity or a distraction? What other distractions have you struggled with? What distractions have you overcome?

Trust....

Today I revise my statement that the biggest lesson is life being what we make it. God is calling me to trust.

He called me to trust Him with my health, which as we know He came through. He brought me through an amazingly hard ordeal, and He is healing my body more and more every day. A week ago today I was NOT breathing on my own - there was a tube in my throat, pumping air into my lungs for me because I just couldn't do it on my own. Praise God for the technology, then for the fact that I survived the technology, and am at home a week later, blogging, sitting on my couch, recovering.

He called me to trust Him with my new year. MY NEW YEAR. The one I had big plans for. The one that I was organizing, arranging, planning for. He stopped my plans, changed my focus, and asked me to trust Him for the coming year.
He also taught me the value of a day....in the course of a week. He is really working in my an understanding of not knowing how many days we have, and how much we are blessed to accomplish in a day. We have so many opportunities to serve and love, every day, and God doesn't want us to miss those because we are planning for a year.

He called me to trust Him with my children. I've been at attachment parenting, baby wearing, my kids never leave me, kind of Mom most of my life as a mom. The boys never go anywhere, other than when they were going to visit Stacy, which was hard. I didn't like having them somewhere other than home, ever. Guess what? God took such good care of my boys. He used wonderfully loving people to do so, and my boys felt all the love in the world as they spent a week with their Pop & Grandma. Talk about a huge lesson, and God put my heart at ease and I am thankful for the help and love shown for my boys!

Now it's money. I feel like it's all going to come crashing in as we run out of the money we already had. I expected Stacy go back to work today and he didn't. I don't want to start loosing things because I got sick. I feel so bad for getting so sick and I feel like it's going to mess everything up. I don't want to make late payments. God keeps saying Trust me, and I keep pointing at the mess on my screen saying "BUT WE DON'T HAVE THAT!!" and sure, money came from thin air, and there was cash in my wallet that Stacy spent. I know God put that there. But somehow that seems different then all the bills getting paid this month. It's not really. So God is calling me to trust Him so more, and this afternoon I'm sitting here at my computer, being honest with you and telling you, this is hard. I made a choice today though, I paid the tithes instead of saving that money for a bill, and I expect that God will do a miracle with that money. He will touch someones life, He will bless them, and He will do a miracle. and I was obedient.

Thank you God for these lessons in trust....give me the strength I need to trust You each day, with each and every thing (good or bad) that I face.

A little peek....

Here's a little peek into my recent struggles and some things I identified while driving home last night.

First off, while I don't wear my sins on my sleeve when I'm writing this blog, they are there. And I am quite adamant and convinced that I had just as much to do with the dissolution of my marriage. And that sucks. I hate it. Everyday. I didn't think the things I was doing would warrant my ex leaving me. I didn't think he'd walk out on me for it. I didn't think I'd end up a single mom, working full time, because of it. But I did. And if I had known those things would occur, I would like to think I wouldn't have been doing what I was doing, but I honestly don't know, because I didn't know.

Secondly, I like to do things myself. I like to see success and achieve goals, and while I can work with a team, I also like a lot of my "own" success. And giving those successes to God, and asking God for them, has been a huge challenge in my Christian walk...I'm learning, but it's been a slow process!

So, I'm driving home last night, contemplating my life, my ever intensifying schedule, and trying to process some things. I've been adding activities, and people, and friend dates to my life like crazy, and you know what I realized? I want to be accepted. And I'm pushing my limits, all of them I think, trying to gain acceptance. I just want to be loved, I want to know that no one else is going to walk out on me again. I want to know that I can trust people and be trusted. I don't want to feel alone. God has shown me that I am not alone, and has stilled the need/desire to go "man-hunting" for me. I am content to wait on His plan for me as far as a man-woman relationship goes. I am not, however, letting Him lead me in my daily activities.

I want to be everything, do everything and achieve everything, for everyone. I want to be so perfect that no one will get rid of me. I don't want to suffer that deep rejection that changed my life. I'm afraid to not fit in. Yet, I don't want to be fake. I don't want to give "face" answers - I want to answer from the heart the questions that are asked of me. I want people to really know me.

You know what God said last night? "You are loved, and wanted. I will never leave you, or forsake you. I sent my Son for you." And I'm resting today in the fact and truth that God bought me, at a price I couldn't fathom paying for anyone (especially when I'm thinking of my sons....) and I am His. I am His.

So, let this be a reminder to you, as well. You are loved, and wanted. God will never leave you, or forsake you. He sent His Son for you. You are His. Rest in that, take comfort, and let God strengthen you and hold you.

Decisions...

Hello Sunday Night, it's sure been a good day. I went to Summit Church this morning and listened to a thought-provoking message, based on the book of Job. I am so amazed at the way God speaks to me, and the way He reached out today and stopped the why questions and He's given me peace and the great reminder that "God is in control, and Jesus is enough."

I think I'm closer to a decision about church, but it's kind of hinging on an answer I'll get Wednesday when I go to small group. I want to keep going to the small group I'm going to. I am so excited about being a part of this group, and the conversations we have are so helpful to my walk with Christ. I have become a better Mom, I have grown spiritually, and my heart has healed, all because of this group of people that I truly believe God has brought together.

I never imagined myself so torn between two churches, but I am. I want to be planted in a church. I want to be plugged in, volunteering, attending group, bringing my children up with a very high involvement at church. I've never wanted to just attend. I like to contribute. I know I am not able to effectively contribute in both churches, and honestly, I can't think of a "con" list to either church. All I have are "pros" - and it's quite a long list on both sides! It's so crazy.

I still wake up with a heavy heart, and I lay awake at night, going over all of my bad choices and hurtful words that drove Stacy & I apart. I think of the hurts that built walls. I think sometimes I just want to lock my door and hide with my kids. I watch them hurt and struggle. I look at pictures of us as a family. I know my words and actions were less than helpful, but I just can't fathom how we ended up here.

Sundays are my best days.the fellowship and messages lift me up. I keep being attacked by a suffocating guilt, and God keeps sending messages of forgiveness. He keeps reminding me that Jesus covers all and giving me a place of rest and peace. I am grateful that God sees my every need and ministers to me according to that need. God truly is in control, Jesus is always enough. God loves me and Jesus died for me, and together they offer me hope and restoration.

And may this serve as a reminder to you, of the gospel upon which we found our faith. God loves YOU. Jesus died for YOU. Together they offer you hope and restoration.