Let me start of by saying that church yesterday was AMAZING. Church was amazing yesterday before praise and worship even started. Church was amazing before we even got to church! I guess it would be more accurate to say that GOD was amazing yesterday.
My morning started off by breaking my heart and showing me a skeleton in my closet. This is probably the ugliest skeleton that haunts me and beats me up. This is the skeleton that tells me that no one will ever really love me, that I've never been good enough, that I've never been talented enough... This skeleton is truly ugly, and I've had it for years.
I can't remember the first time I thought I didn't measure up. I've just always looked at everyone else as being talented, and well, I'm just not. When I first started dating my husband, at 16 years old, he told me that if he had the opportunity to date this other girl, that we would break up. Well, as I think back, I'm pretty sure he had the opportunity, but he never broke up with me. Yet, as we exchanged vows, those words were somewhere in my mind, and every so often I would be reminded that he would leave for someone else. We were married for 5 years, and I never once thought he was in it for the long haul. Something, or someone, better would come along.
Sunday morning, I was reminded of the most prominent woman that I thought would replace me in my husband's life. The reminder came with a fairly simple, "Do you still hate .... ? Or is it different now that we are not married?" I was shocked that my snoozer was asking me this. I just told him I don't hate her. Then a while later I said it again. I never had hated her, and as we talked, and as I thought, I started crying. I let him know, I never hated her, I always hated knowing that no one would ever love me as much as he loves her.
I'm going to cry again now. We were driving to church during this conversation, and God was working on my heart before we even arrived. It's true that I fall short - I fall short of the Glory of God, I am a sinner. But I am loved. He sent His Son for me. As I was reminded of the truth, I prayed, and am I still praying and believing, that God would help me recognize His love. I also asked that God would help me develop and grow my talents, and that I would recognize them as being from Him, no matter how they compare to the rest of the world.
I have ventured into a few different small business ideas of my own, and I've shared a few with friends/business partners. Somehow, when I find someone else in the same business, I assume my product, or my business, doesn't compare. This comparison is generally followed by me giving up.
One of my latest adventures has included a long desired DSLR camera. I've been thoroughly enjoying it, yet when I see someone else's work, I find myself wanting to tuck my camera away and not admit that I've been taking pictures. I don't want anyone to know that I take bad pictures, or pictures that aren't that great. I don't want anyone to think I shouldn't have that great of a camera with the lack of talent I possess.
I've also been writing. I've been writing my blog, and I'm working on a book. I actually have several book ideas, I'm just trying to stay focused and write one at a time. Yet, I get fearful that I'm not as good as another writer. Yet, God keeps reminding me to "Just Keep Writing." I think He keeps telling me to take pictures too, although that is a little less clear than the writing. I know I love both, and I get very excited about both.
My big question for myself is: What am I saying to God when I compare and downplay my talents? Am I telling Him that He didn't make me "right"? Am I telling Him that He didn't know what He was doing when He made me?
Rest assured, God knew what He was doing when He made me...and when He made you. Yes, we are sinners, and we fall short of His glory. Yet, in His perfect love He made a way for us by sending Jesus. So, today, join me in recognizing that we are loved by God, created for God, and He gave us each talents to use for His glory and honor, and I believe we are supposed to enjoy our talents. They are not our own, but we do get some enjoyment from them.
What are your talents and how do you use them to glorify God?
(P.S. I'll post later about the sermon at church...because this really didn't have anything to do with the sermon at church! LOL)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Silly things work!
We've had a blast today, my two boys and I! We had oatmeal and chicken nuggets for breakfast - it's what they picked...don't ask me! Then I worked out for 30 minutes. Then we jumped in on some school work.
My mom gave the boys each a handwriting book at Christmas - stick figure handwriting (or something like that...) Honestly, I thought it was the silliest way to approach handwriting. I didn't figure it would work that great. So, I kind of decided to just use it like a regular handwriting book and that is where I made my first mistake. As a regular handwriting book, it was just as boring as the rest of the regular handwriting books. When I finally broke down and told my youngest, "Draw the stick girl tall and straight, put on her hat, put on her belt, put on her shoes..." he wrote an E! And I cheered. And I realized that some of the silliest things, well, they are what work! He works on E and C - and he was excited about it, and his letters were taking shape quite nicely.
I tend to think that my Little Green Thumb thought it was silly like I did, cause he took one look at Isaiah doing it "that" way, looked at me and said, "That is NOT how I do it..." LGT and I are two peas in a pod, and Lil' Bro is going to teach us a whole lot about this world and how to see it in a different light!
My favorite thing about homeschooling #242: I'm learning just as much from my kids as they are from me!
My mom gave the boys each a handwriting book at Christmas - stick figure handwriting (or something like that...) Honestly, I thought it was the silliest way to approach handwriting. I didn't figure it would work that great. So, I kind of decided to just use it like a regular handwriting book and that is where I made my first mistake. As a regular handwriting book, it was just as boring as the rest of the regular handwriting books. When I finally broke down and told my youngest, "Draw the stick girl tall and straight, put on her hat, put on her belt, put on her shoes..." he wrote an E! And I cheered. And I realized that some of the silliest things, well, they are what work! He works on E and C - and he was excited about it, and his letters were taking shape quite nicely.
I tend to think that my Little Green Thumb thought it was silly like I did, cause he took one look at Isaiah doing it "that" way, looked at me and said, "That is NOT how I do it..." LGT and I are two peas in a pod, and Lil' Bro is going to teach us a whole lot about this world and how to see it in a different light!
My favorite thing about homeschooling #242: I'm learning just as much from my kids as they are from me!
Monday, February 21, 2011
The American Dining Experience
Almost one week ago I got to enjoy a meal out of the house, in a restaurant, without the kids. I also noticed that the American Dining Experience (ADE from here on out) is a bit disgusting. Follow me on this journey:
First, you arrive and if you've picked the right day and time, you don't have to wait, but fast forward to sitting at the table. You start of with a beverage - often times one loaded with calories. The other thing that happens at this time is that you identify who will be serving you during this time. This person is now expected to be at your beckon call for the next 1.5hours or so. You order an appetizer.
We are now in part 2: High calorie beverage + Appetizer. 20 minutes into the ADE and you have had something in front of you, for your dining pleasure. You are happily consuming the chosen fare, and you've ordered your entree. You are still being served by the same person you were introduced to, and you expect your beverage to remain full, clean napkins to be present, and everything to arrive to the table at the right temperature, and in a timely fashion.
Part 3: As you take the last bites of your appetizer, your soup or salad arrives. If the salad came with the dressing on it already, rest assured they used too much. If you put it on yourself, good for you! Soup - cream based? Yep, that cup of soup could count as a meal by itself. Let's not hope the server has done anything to disappoint. We are 30 minutes in, and in about 5 minutes we expect our entrees to arrive....
Part 4: The entree arrives, and if it is as it should be (in regards to timing) then you should just be pushing your soup or salad away from you. Here is an over sized plate, overstuffed with food, and every adult at the table has one of their own. To heck with sharing this much food...I want it all to myself, every rich bite. Every rich bite that I am going to dip in butter, or some other sauce, it should be all mine. Now granted, we might swap a few bites to sample entrees of our friend and/or partner, but we are talking a meager bite or two - I ordered what I wanted, stay off it! If the server has done a good job so far, then we are all happy, right?
Part 5: Dessert....chances are we've decided what dessert we want before we even ordered our entree. So half way through the entree, we order the dessert - so it comes out just as we push the entree plate out of our way. And this is the part we consider indulging, by saying something like: "Oh, I just shouldn't get dessert, but I think I will indulge today..." REALLY?!? I mean, I just consumed 1800 calories in the last 50 minutes, but I'm going to reference dessert as the indulgence? GET A GRIP!
Not to mention, if the server has messed up, I now get to be judge and jury, slamming my gavel down in judgement by the amount of money I leave behind. "Keep the change." That one phrase can be so pleasant and such a blessing, and it can be so condescending, telling someone you think you're better than them.
Sorry for the rant, but it became apparent to me at my last big ADE, that it's no wonder I struggle with my weight and self-image. I'm shoveling it in faster than I'm walking it off, and I only ever think of dessert as indulging - to heck with all the other calories that I consume. I also realized how judgemental I can be of a server - and I've even been there, done that. Being a server is hard work, and it can be so hurtful when someone passes judgement. I'm not condoning bad work ethic, just asking that we all remember that the person serving us during the ADE is a real person, and we have no idea what they might be struggling with.
First, you arrive and if you've picked the right day and time, you don't have to wait, but fast forward to sitting at the table. You start of with a beverage - often times one loaded with calories. The other thing that happens at this time is that you identify who will be serving you during this time. This person is now expected to be at your beckon call for the next 1.5hours or so. You order an appetizer.
We are now in part 2: High calorie beverage + Appetizer. 20 minutes into the ADE and you have had something in front of you, for your dining pleasure. You are happily consuming the chosen fare, and you've ordered your entree. You are still being served by the same person you were introduced to, and you expect your beverage to remain full, clean napkins to be present, and everything to arrive to the table at the right temperature, and in a timely fashion.
Part 3: As you take the last bites of your appetizer, your soup or salad arrives. If the salad came with the dressing on it already, rest assured they used too much. If you put it on yourself, good for you! Soup - cream based? Yep, that cup of soup could count as a meal by itself. Let's not hope the server has done anything to disappoint. We are 30 minutes in, and in about 5 minutes we expect our entrees to arrive....
Part 4: The entree arrives, and if it is as it should be (in regards to timing) then you should just be pushing your soup or salad away from you. Here is an over sized plate, overstuffed with food, and every adult at the table has one of their own. To heck with sharing this much food...I want it all to myself, every rich bite. Every rich bite that I am going to dip in butter, or some other sauce, it should be all mine. Now granted, we might swap a few bites to sample entrees of our friend and/or partner, but we are talking a meager bite or two - I ordered what I wanted, stay off it! If the server has done a good job so far, then we are all happy, right?
Part 5: Dessert....chances are we've decided what dessert we want before we even ordered our entree. So half way through the entree, we order the dessert - so it comes out just as we push the entree plate out of our way. And this is the part we consider indulging, by saying something like: "Oh, I just shouldn't get dessert, but I think I will indulge today..." REALLY?!? I mean, I just consumed 1800 calories in the last 50 minutes, but I'm going to reference dessert as the indulgence? GET A GRIP!
Not to mention, if the server has messed up, I now get to be judge and jury, slamming my gavel down in judgement by the amount of money I leave behind. "Keep the change." That one phrase can be so pleasant and such a blessing, and it can be so condescending, telling someone you think you're better than them.
Sorry for the rant, but it became apparent to me at my last big ADE, that it's no wonder I struggle with my weight and self-image. I'm shoveling it in faster than I'm walking it off, and I only ever think of dessert as indulging - to heck with all the other calories that I consume. I also realized how judgemental I can be of a server - and I've even been there, done that. Being a server is hard work, and it can be so hurtful when someone passes judgement. I'm not condoning bad work ethic, just asking that we all remember that the person serving us during the ADE is a real person, and we have no idea what they might be struggling with.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
While doing the laundry...
During one of today's mundane tasks - folding laundry, I found the helmet pictured above. I have to admit, I was slightly concerned. This is a very tiny helmet, for a very tiny head, and I was worried that the tiny head of our Lego-man friend was going to be a bit banged up. A ride through the washer and dryer would be quite traumatic - especially if you're only 1.5 inches tall.
We got lucky this time - it turns out that only his head gear got caught up in the pile of laundry! Lego-man goes on so many adventures, he's probably quite glad to have his helmet clean and smelling fresh. All those adventures must certainly make for a smelly, sweaty Lego-man, right?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tithing works!
I posted previously about tithing, and I want to post again to tell you, GOD IS FAITHFUL!
I've been home from the hospital for just over a month, and everything is just about straightened out. All of our normal bills are caught back up, and we are just about lined up in good order with all of the doctors and other medical bills! PRAISE GOD!
God gets the glory and honor for this - because it is His doing that things have gone so smoothly. I look back and wonder why I had so many doubts, but I had them. They even were fear sometimes. I am thankful for what God has done in my life, and I look forward to what else He is doing.
God made sure everything worked out - and He definitely did it in His timing. He was busy teaching me trust, and patience, while He was orchestrating things I couldn't see. I am still very burdened to work hard toward becoming debt free, and that is definitely one of my goals for this year. I think I will write out the whole plan this week and we will begin the uphill climb out from under the heavy weight of debt! I am very excited and ready for this!
I've been home from the hospital for just over a month, and everything is just about straightened out. All of our normal bills are caught back up, and we are just about lined up in good order with all of the doctors and other medical bills! PRAISE GOD!
God gets the glory and honor for this - because it is His doing that things have gone so smoothly. I look back and wonder why I had so many doubts, but I had them. They even were fear sometimes. I am thankful for what God has done in my life, and I look forward to what else He is doing.
God made sure everything worked out - and He definitely did it in His timing. He was busy teaching me trust, and patience, while He was orchestrating things I couldn't see. I am still very burdened to work hard toward becoming debt free, and that is definitely one of my goals for this year. I think I will write out the whole plan this week and we will begin the uphill climb out from under the heavy weight of debt! I am very excited and ready for this!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Through My Lens
I got a DSLR camera on at a sale on the Friday after Thanksgiving, and I've been loving it! Saturday I got to take family/maternity pictures for a wonderful couple and their adorable kids. I had such a great time, and got some great shots. I've been reading a few books from the library, about photography, and I'm really excited to continue expanding my skills. I hope to further explore my talent as well as possibly building a business of my own. Well, that's all for tonight, we are about to watch the last episode of "Lie to Me" season 1!!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Little Green Thumb
So, I've been trying to think of nick names for my kids to use on the blog. I think my oldest is going to be Little Green Thumb for the time being. He loves anything he can grow and nurture and has been BEGGING to grow plants. I finally bought him a little set up for plant growing, and we will begin learning about (very, very basic) botany tomorrow! He is as excited as I am!
I love how my kids are developing their own interests, and I love giving them the opportunity to explore this world that God has made for us. My boys are so curious about everything, and sharing in their young, untainted curiosity is one of my many joys I find in homeschooling.
My youngest is obsessed with all things letters, so I think we will continue studying the solar system and letters, letter combinations, and beginning sounds. I always said that kids are sponges, I know they want information, I know they are smart, yet somehow, these two always end up surprising me!
As I am writing this, they are snuggled up in my bed next to me, playing and talking and just spending time with me. Little Green Thumb just thanked me for letting him turn of my light, and it is so cute the way he wants to help.
Well, I'm going to get some rest, we have a lot to study tomorrow, and I need to get my Mommy-brain ready!
I love how my kids are developing their own interests, and I love giving them the opportunity to explore this world that God has made for us. My boys are so curious about everything, and sharing in their young, untainted curiosity is one of my many joys I find in homeschooling.
My youngest is obsessed with all things letters, so I think we will continue studying the solar system and letters, letter combinations, and beginning sounds. I always said that kids are sponges, I know they want information, I know they are smart, yet somehow, these two always end up surprising me!
As I am writing this, they are snuggled up in my bed next to me, playing and talking and just spending time with me. Little Green Thumb just thanked me for letting him turn of my light, and it is so cute the way he wants to help.
Well, I'm going to get some rest, we have a lot to study tomorrow, and I need to get my Mommy-brain ready!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
It's a letter day, Moooooom.
I am a happy-to-be-homeschooling mom of two boys that are only 16 months apart. This age gap, while already considered a small one, shrinks every day. I started my oldest on some handwriting/letter practice - which I have to be careful with because he gets bored. His handwriting needs a lot of work, so I try to squeeze in what I can every school day.
I started my youngest on some color practice. He was working on the color green - and the instructions were to color a frog, a leaf, and a pod full of peas, green. Well, he balked. He argued. He refused. This was not his idea of a good time. He actually chose to sit by himself instead of completing his page. I try to always offer a choice - but neither of the options includes going and playing/watching tv/video game etc. It's usually school, or sitting by yourself. I'm not sure if this is the best way to go about it - but my youngest is very quick to give up if he thinks he's going to be doing something better than what's in front of him. It all confuses me, because he begs to do school.
I think I'm going to re-evaluate my system, and let him do a little bit more leading - because today, he wanted to work on letters. Once I got this through my thick "no, we are working on green right now" skull things went much smoother. We worked on every uppercase and lowercase letter of the alphabet, and all of the letter sounds! For him only being 3, I think that's a huge accomplishment! I have come to realize he really wants to read. He watches my oldest read, and he gets so excited. Once he realized that mastering the letters, and their sounds, was his key to unlocking the world of reading, he jumped on board!
My oldest worked on his handwriting, worked on reading practice, ate his lunch, and is now enjoying quiet time building with blocks. I feel guilty because I often think to myself, "Why is all of this so much easier with the older one??" - but I learn more from the younger one, and I am challenged to not just react to the frustration but to truly find a solution. It's not that either one of them likes to learn more, or is better at learning. They both are sponges, begging for information, soaking it up. The problem is usually the method. Who picks the method? Grr. Me.
I've also noticed that the fastest problem-causer is boredom. I should have thought about the fact that my youngest already knows what green is, and that frogs, spring leaves, and peas are green. I struggle with trying to balance review, with offering a wealth of new information and making it stick.
How do you balance review vs. boredom? How do you encourage your children to learn about the world around them?
I started my youngest on some color practice. He was working on the color green - and the instructions were to color a frog, a leaf, and a pod full of peas, green. Well, he balked. He argued. He refused. This was not his idea of a good time. He actually chose to sit by himself instead of completing his page. I try to always offer a choice - but neither of the options includes going and playing/watching tv/video game etc. It's usually school, or sitting by yourself. I'm not sure if this is the best way to go about it - but my youngest is very quick to give up if he thinks he's going to be doing something better than what's in front of him. It all confuses me, because he begs to do school.
I think I'm going to re-evaluate my system, and let him do a little bit more leading - because today, he wanted to work on letters. Once I got this through my thick "no, we are working on green right now" skull things went much smoother. We worked on every uppercase and lowercase letter of the alphabet, and all of the letter sounds! For him only being 3, I think that's a huge accomplishment! I have come to realize he really wants to read. He watches my oldest read, and he gets so excited. Once he realized that mastering the letters, and their sounds, was his key to unlocking the world of reading, he jumped on board!
My oldest worked on his handwriting, worked on reading practice, ate his lunch, and is now enjoying quiet time building with blocks. I feel guilty because I often think to myself, "Why is all of this so much easier with the older one??" - but I learn more from the younger one, and I am challenged to not just react to the frustration but to truly find a solution. It's not that either one of them likes to learn more, or is better at learning. They both are sponges, begging for information, soaking it up. The problem is usually the method. Who picks the method? Grr. Me.
I've also noticed that the fastest problem-causer is boredom. I should have thought about the fact that my youngest already knows what green is, and that frogs, spring leaves, and peas are green. I struggle with trying to balance review, with offering a wealth of new information and making it stick.
How do you balance review vs. boredom? How do you encourage your children to learn about the world around them?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Writing for Passion, Not for Profit
One of my best friends is working on a writing project, and I have been asking her questions and getting advice from her. She's shared lots of awesome stuff with me, and I think the one that stuck the most about writing was: "Write for passion, not for profit."
This hit me like a ton of bricks...like a loaded mac truck...like a baseball bat to the head...well okay, maybe that's a little exaggerated - especially since none of those things have ever happened to me. Regardless of how hard it hit me, it struck a chord, hit a nerve, and stuck. I keep thinking about it.
See, I had decided that this was going to be a profitable venture. I felt like God was leading me to write, write, and write some more. I'm working on this blog, getting ready to launch another one, and I'm working on a book or two (or four). I get inspired to add to my main book project almost every day, and I have really been enjoying blogging. I keep reading that I need to find a niche and stick with it, but I'm thinking I will just keep writing my thoughts and enjoying the shape this special place is becoming.
Now, feeling God-lead, Holy Spirit inspired to write, I figured I would be able to contribute financially to my families benefit. Then I took AdSense down because of the ads it was displaying. No profit there. I don't know if my book will ever be published, so I don't know if that will be profitable. Now, God never said this was going to make me money - I decided that all on my own. Then I decided, when I realized it wasn't going to be profitable right now, that I would just give it up. God had a different plan, He said "Keep Writing!" so, I am still writing.
Then my friend says, "Write for passion, not for profit." I think that God is filling up my cup, my lamp, my heart, I believe He is dusting me off, helping me to hone my skills and find what I am passionate about. Honestly, there are so many things I try to chase and do and succeed at, that I have missed what I am truly passionate about. As I keep writing, I'm going to pick topics that really get me fired up. I'm going to try to stop worrying about offending people by being truly passionate about something. I'm going to try to grow more into the person God made me to be, to discover the talents, passions, and motivations He planted within me. I'm going to give them to Him, and ask Him to grow the good seeds, and pluck out the bad ones.
I am going to keep writing, profit or not. I'm going to write passionately, I'm going to find things I truly care about and I'm going to write about them. This is the start of a journey that I can't wait to take!
What are you passionate about? How has God helped you pursue your passions? If you're stuck like me, not quite sure what you are passionate about, then spend some time this month praying and asking God to reveal your passions to you, so you can pursue them on your journey to be the person He created you to be!
This hit me like a ton of bricks...like a loaded mac truck...like a baseball bat to the head...well okay, maybe that's a little exaggerated - especially since none of those things have ever happened to me. Regardless of how hard it hit me, it struck a chord, hit a nerve, and stuck. I keep thinking about it.
See, I had decided that this was going to be a profitable venture. I felt like God was leading me to write, write, and write some more. I'm working on this blog, getting ready to launch another one, and I'm working on a book or two (or four). I get inspired to add to my main book project almost every day, and I have really been enjoying blogging. I keep reading that I need to find a niche and stick with it, but I'm thinking I will just keep writing my thoughts and enjoying the shape this special place is becoming.
Now, feeling God-lead, Holy Spirit inspired to write, I figured I would be able to contribute financially to my families benefit. Then I took AdSense down because of the ads it was displaying. No profit there. I don't know if my book will ever be published, so I don't know if that will be profitable. Now, God never said this was going to make me money - I decided that all on my own. Then I decided, when I realized it wasn't going to be profitable right now, that I would just give it up. God had a different plan, He said "Keep Writing!" so, I am still writing.
Then my friend says, "Write for passion, not for profit." I think that God is filling up my cup, my lamp, my heart, I believe He is dusting me off, helping me to hone my skills and find what I am passionate about. Honestly, there are so many things I try to chase and do and succeed at, that I have missed what I am truly passionate about. As I keep writing, I'm going to pick topics that really get me fired up. I'm going to try to stop worrying about offending people by being truly passionate about something. I'm going to try to grow more into the person God made me to be, to discover the talents, passions, and motivations He planted within me. I'm going to give them to Him, and ask Him to grow the good seeds, and pluck out the bad ones.
I am going to keep writing, profit or not. I'm going to write passionately, I'm going to find things I truly care about and I'm going to write about them. This is the start of a journey that I can't wait to take!
What are you passionate about? How has God helped you pursue your passions? If you're stuck like me, not quite sure what you are passionate about, then spend some time this month praying and asking God to reveal your passions to you, so you can pursue them on your journey to be the person He created you to be!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I Told You So
You know, saying "I told you so" is one of the quickest ways to make someone defensive, which generally causes tension and usually an argument of some sort or another. There have been a few things going on in my life lately, and I really want to say it. Oh so bad. Then I get crafty. What if I say something with a little different ring to it? Here are some of the things I've come up with:
"Well, that's what I was afraid of, when I warned you..."
"I am not surprised..."
"You mean, you weren't really expecting that?"
"History repeats itself."
"Who didn't see that coming?"
"Remember when you first told me, I think I mentioned my concerns..."
"I was worried this is how things would go."
"You had it coming to you..."
Now, I am convinced that the recipient of any these words would simply here, "I TOLD YOU SO" as if I was yelling and pointing fingers at them. Then we would argue. Let's face it - we don't ever like to hear those words. You know why I think that is? Because when someone warns us, and we don't heed their advice, we are generally not trying to be ignorant. We think that our idea is a great one, and we attempt to pursue it. You know what I have to say to that? If everyone with a brilliant idea only ever listened to the critics, our world would be significantly different - for the worse, I think. Let me say it this way: just because you were right once, doesn't mean that every time you "warn" someone, you will end up being right.
So, lets hold back the "I told you so" and praise the effort. Let's try not to gloat about being right - God knows you won't always get it right. I won't always get it right. Remember, next time you warn someone, they may end up pursuing greatness. Remember the next time someone warns you to thoroughly consider the warning, and ask God about it - maybe God is leading you into greatness and the warning isn't necessary. Maybe they are right, and you are about to make a mistake. Either way, you're going to learn something, you're going to grow, and we all win some, loose some.
Have you ever said "I told you so" in one way or another? How did it turn out? Do you find it easy to refrain from saying it, or is it something that is easily blurted out?
"Well, that's what I was afraid of, when I warned you..."
"I am not surprised..."
"You mean, you weren't really expecting that?"
"History repeats itself."
"Who didn't see that coming?"
"Remember when you first told me, I think I mentioned my concerns..."
"I was worried this is how things would go."
"You had it coming to you..."
Now, I am convinced that the recipient of any these words would simply here, "I TOLD YOU SO" as if I was yelling and pointing fingers at them. Then we would argue. Let's face it - we don't ever like to hear those words. You know why I think that is? Because when someone warns us, and we don't heed their advice, we are generally not trying to be ignorant. We think that our idea is a great one, and we attempt to pursue it. You know what I have to say to that? If everyone with a brilliant idea only ever listened to the critics, our world would be significantly different - for the worse, I think. Let me say it this way: just because you were right once, doesn't mean that every time you "warn" someone, you will end up being right.
So, lets hold back the "I told you so" and praise the effort. Let's try not to gloat about being right - God knows you won't always get it right. I won't always get it right. Remember, next time you warn someone, they may end up pursuing greatness. Remember the next time someone warns you to thoroughly consider the warning, and ask God about it - maybe God is leading you into greatness and the warning isn't necessary. Maybe they are right, and you are about to make a mistake. Either way, you're going to learn something, you're going to grow, and we all win some, loose some.
Have you ever said "I told you so" in one way or another? How did it turn out? Do you find it easy to refrain from saying it, or is it something that is easily blurted out?
Friday, February 4, 2011
Apologies
We've been snowed in for 4 days now – and it's been a mix of good, bad and ugly. My Oldest is talking to his Oklahoma Grandma on the phone at the moment, my Youngest is sleeping, and the Snoozer is sitting on the couch. The Oldest came up while his Dad was talking on the phone and was messing with him. He was just poking at him and being an ornery boy. Suddenly his Dad pushed him – playfully – but he fell down. My Oldest was very upset by this and started crying. He told his dad that he hurt him, and it was obvious that it was his feelings that were hurt.
I watched the Snoozer convince my Oldest to come close to him, and he hugged him, then he tickled the Oldest's neck a little bit. The Snoozer then followed that gesture with an apology – and from here, I thought “Wow, I never feel like your apologies are sincere, because you have to do something obnoxious to relieve your guilt for hurting whoever it is you're apologizing to.” Now – that something obnoxious probably seems very playful to Mr. Snoozer, but it sure makes an apology seem insincere.
As I watched their interaction unfold, I believe that the Snoozer meant it when he apologized, and I think that being licked on the cheek isn't very offensive to a 4-year old. I also got to thinking about the apologies I offer. I try to look people in the eye, and focus on them, I use a very even tone, and I make a concentrated effort to show that I mean it. Yet, I can do this when I don't mean it – to make someone feel better, or to ease my guilt. See, I feel less guilty by making the other person feel better – even if I don't think I did anything wrong, I usually feel guilty if someone is hurt or offended. The Snoozer uses humor to deal with all things – too bad his humor often times annoys me.
As I am writing and thinking, I want to make sure that I'm communicating sincerity in a way that the receiver recognizes it. I also want to make sure that I am humbling myself and being sincere. I also want to consider that while sincerity looks one way to me, it may look different to someone else. Even more importantly, it may look differently coming from someone – so I shouldn't automatically doubt someone's sincerity just because they didn't apologize the way I would.
How important are apologies in your life? Do you notice if someone doesn't apologize to you? Does the way they apologize make difference to you?
I watched the Snoozer convince my Oldest to come close to him, and he hugged him, then he tickled the Oldest's neck a little bit. The Snoozer then followed that gesture with an apology – and from here, I thought “Wow, I never feel like your apologies are sincere, because you have to do something obnoxious to relieve your guilt for hurting whoever it is you're apologizing to.” Now – that something obnoxious probably seems very playful to Mr. Snoozer, but it sure makes an apology seem insincere.
As I watched their interaction unfold, I believe that the Snoozer meant it when he apologized, and I think that being licked on the cheek isn't very offensive to a 4-year old. I also got to thinking about the apologies I offer. I try to look people in the eye, and focus on them, I use a very even tone, and I make a concentrated effort to show that I mean it. Yet, I can do this when I don't mean it – to make someone feel better, or to ease my guilt. See, I feel less guilty by making the other person feel better – even if I don't think I did anything wrong, I usually feel guilty if someone is hurt or offended. The Snoozer uses humor to deal with all things – too bad his humor often times annoys me.
As I am writing and thinking, I want to make sure that I'm communicating sincerity in a way that the receiver recognizes it. I also want to make sure that I am humbling myself and being sincere. I also want to consider that while sincerity looks one way to me, it may look different to someone else. Even more importantly, it may look differently coming from someone – so I shouldn't automatically doubt someone's sincerity just because they didn't apologize the way I would.
How important are apologies in your life? Do you notice if someone doesn't apologize to you? Does the way they apologize make difference to you?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Just Like Mom
I had this striking realization recently. I am just like my Mom, and yet, I am my own person. I am also like my Dad, while still being my own person. My Mom and Dad don't seem very similar most of the time, so I thought about this for a while.
I thought about growing up, and hearing all the time “You're just like your Mom!” - I heard over and over how much I sounded like her, talked like her, liked what she liked, etc. There were things I didn't like as much as everyone thought I did, but I thought I was supposed to...because my Mom did. This is definitely not the majority of things, but I had some pretty big shoes to fill to be just like Mom, and I tried very hard to be just like her.
As I'm watching my two boys, I tend to tell them they are just like their father, sometimes I mean it with the best intentions and all the love in my heart. Other times, however, it's like saying, “You annoy me the same way your Dad does...great!” The latter is not very encouraging to their Dad, or them. I need to watch it. Yet, I'm realizing, I want to watch the first one too. I think that sometimes being like our parents is a huge compliment, but sometimes it's a box. It's limiting.
See, if we are trying to live up to the expectation to be just like Mom or Dad, then how are we going to search for, find, and experience our own passions in life?
I am thankful for my parents, and I am blessed to know that they had a hand in shaping who I am today. My prayer for my boys is that I would constructively shape their lives and opinions, and that I would have God-given expectations of them, but that I would also give them enough room to find what truly ignites the fire within them. I pray that they wouldn't get caught up trying to be just like me (although, I must admit, I am pretty darn awesome!) or their Dad, but rather, they would get so caught up chasing after God that they would hear His whisper and follow Him and the direction He has for them. I want to watch them grow to be as much like Jesus as God can shape them to be.
What is your passion? What ignites the fire within you and motivates you? What is your prayer for your children? Have you started to see passion develop in your child or children's life?
I thought about growing up, and hearing all the time “You're just like your Mom!” - I heard over and over how much I sounded like her, talked like her, liked what she liked, etc. There were things I didn't like as much as everyone thought I did, but I thought I was supposed to...because my Mom did. This is definitely not the majority of things, but I had some pretty big shoes to fill to be just like Mom, and I tried very hard to be just like her.
As I'm watching my two boys, I tend to tell them they are just like their father, sometimes I mean it with the best intentions and all the love in my heart. Other times, however, it's like saying, “You annoy me the same way your Dad does...great!” The latter is not very encouraging to their Dad, or them. I need to watch it. Yet, I'm realizing, I want to watch the first one too. I think that sometimes being like our parents is a huge compliment, but sometimes it's a box. It's limiting.
See, if we are trying to live up to the expectation to be just like Mom or Dad, then how are we going to search for, find, and experience our own passions in life?
I am thankful for my parents, and I am blessed to know that they had a hand in shaping who I am today. My prayer for my boys is that I would constructively shape their lives and opinions, and that I would have God-given expectations of them, but that I would also give them enough room to find what truly ignites the fire within them. I pray that they wouldn't get caught up trying to be just like me (although, I must admit, I am pretty darn awesome!) or their Dad, but rather, they would get so caught up chasing after God that they would hear His whisper and follow Him and the direction He has for them. I want to watch them grow to be as much like Jesus as God can shape them to be.
What is your passion? What ignites the fire within you and motivates you? What is your prayer for your children? Have you started to see passion develop in your child or children's life?
Inspiration
I have been walking through a very inspired time in my life.
Inspire: to exert a stimulating or beneficial effect upon (a person); animate or invigorate
I could spend all day writing. I get inspired by things that happen with my boys, by the weather, by short drives. I get inspired while shopping for groceries, while walking to the mail box, and while trying to go to sleep. I find myself making notes in my phone every time I turn the corner. When I'm making coffee, or dinner. When I'm giving baths. Switching the laundry. You name it, right now it speaks to me.
Well, "it" doesn't so much, rather I think "it" is God. I believe God is more creative than we can aspire to be - look at this world! To top that off, the creativity we experience was created by Him and given to us. I hope the ways in which I express my creativity can be counted as worship to God. I hope He is glorified as I use the talents He has given me.
As I am walking through this time of great inspiration I am also learning new skills. I have taken up photography and I am learning to take better pictures, to notice more subjects for my shots. I am writing a novel, and writing this blog. I am also finding new and creative ways to teach my children about this beautiful world!
What inspires you? What creative talents has God given to you? How do you utilize your God-given talents?
Inspire: to exert a stimulating or beneficial effect upon (a person); animate or invigorate
I could spend all day writing. I get inspired by things that happen with my boys, by the weather, by short drives. I get inspired while shopping for groceries, while walking to the mail box, and while trying to go to sleep. I find myself making notes in my phone every time I turn the corner. When I'm making coffee, or dinner. When I'm giving baths. Switching the laundry. You name it, right now it speaks to me.
Well, "it" doesn't so much, rather I think "it" is God. I believe God is more creative than we can aspire to be - look at this world! To top that off, the creativity we experience was created by Him and given to us. I hope the ways in which I express my creativity can be counted as worship to God. I hope He is glorified as I use the talents He has given me.
As I am walking through this time of great inspiration I am also learning new skills. I have taken up photography and I am learning to take better pictures, to notice more subjects for my shots. I am writing a novel, and writing this blog. I am also finding new and creative ways to teach my children about this beautiful world!
What inspires you? What creative talents has God given to you? How do you utilize your God-given talents?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
What am I looking for?
Life has been throwing me many curve balls lately! We had a great time over Christmas with my family in Colorado. The large boy has wanted to move to Colorado for a while, and I finally decided I would. I love my home in Oklahoma, my friends, and very importantly, I love the church we attend and I love the vision that we are creating as a church, and I want to serve God and the community alongside these people. I decided we could find a great church home in Colorado, I would make new friends, and I would be close to my parents and my sister, and my sweet nephew!
God had other plans. I shouldn't have been surprised - this has happened before.
We are going to be moving into the large boy's house in Norman, sometime in March or April. This is a huge, scary, frightening, overwhelming blessing. Yep, you read that right. Let me put it this way: Who wouldn't feel blessed by 1000 more square feet? A garage? An extra bedroom and bathroom? More cabinet space? Pretty awesome, right?
Yet, this is where the large boy, my ex-husband, lived with his girlfriend. Yep - the one I felt like he left me for. Now, he swears that's not how it happened, and I am convinced that he believes that, as much as I believe he left me for someone else. It's that whole perception thing that gave this blog it's title. From where I sat and watched, with the knowledge I had (however complete or incomplete), I have my opinion and feelings on the matter. Same goes for him.
They lived there together for almost a year. From my perspective, and the few times I was there to pick up or drop off the boys, they made a home together. Moving into that home is overwhelming. I keep talking about painting, and putting up curtains, and making it "my own" but the truth is, it doesn't feel like it will ever resemble anything that is "my own".
In struggling with this, and trying to be open to what God is doing in this process, I asked myself "What am I looking for?" - meaning, am I looking for a reason to keep hurting? Am I looking for a reason to hide in a room all by myself? Am I looking to perpetuate the feeling of being replaced? Or am I looking for healing? Am I looking for ways to make home more about family and less about the walls around us? Am I looking to God for my worth, for God to tell me I am loved and I am His - always?
This is a difficult process, because I don't feel like I have any say once we move. He has his own rules for the kids there, and as he outlines those, I feel like I don't get any say. He had a certain standard for the chores, dishes and laundry, and I feel like I have to live up to what he expects instead of running my home, my way. He has routines, he has places he wants to put things, and I find myself quickly feeling like I will have no place for me. I requested the "spare" room for myself - and I keep finding myself living there in my head, making that one room my only "me" space. He said he doesn't want me to clam up in that one room. He said he wants me to be comfortable and to live there like it's my home, too. He has definitely said all the right things. Now if I can just get out of my own way, and rely on God for the strength to walk through this process.
Today I pray that my focus will be on God, and what He is doing through this process. I pray that I will let all the other worries fall away, and I will just rely solely on my Father in heaven who adores me. He is the only One that will love me no matter what, forever. He has a purpose and a plan, and I want to walk in and live in that purpose, that plan.
What has God brought you to that challenged you? How did God bring you through it?
God is in control, and Jesus is enough.
God had other plans. I shouldn't have been surprised - this has happened before.
We are going to be moving into the large boy's house in Norman, sometime in March or April. This is a huge, scary, frightening, overwhelming blessing. Yep, you read that right. Let me put it this way: Who wouldn't feel blessed by 1000 more square feet? A garage? An extra bedroom and bathroom? More cabinet space? Pretty awesome, right?
Yet, this is where the large boy, my ex-husband, lived with his girlfriend. Yep - the one I felt like he left me for. Now, he swears that's not how it happened, and I am convinced that he believes that, as much as I believe he left me for someone else. It's that whole perception thing that gave this blog it's title. From where I sat and watched, with the knowledge I had (however complete or incomplete), I have my opinion and feelings on the matter. Same goes for him.
They lived there together for almost a year. From my perspective, and the few times I was there to pick up or drop off the boys, they made a home together. Moving into that home is overwhelming. I keep talking about painting, and putting up curtains, and making it "my own" but the truth is, it doesn't feel like it will ever resemble anything that is "my own".
In struggling with this, and trying to be open to what God is doing in this process, I asked myself "What am I looking for?" - meaning, am I looking for a reason to keep hurting? Am I looking for a reason to hide in a room all by myself? Am I looking to perpetuate the feeling of being replaced? Or am I looking for healing? Am I looking for ways to make home more about family and less about the walls around us? Am I looking to God for my worth, for God to tell me I am loved and I am His - always?
This is a difficult process, because I don't feel like I have any say once we move. He has his own rules for the kids there, and as he outlines those, I feel like I don't get any say. He had a certain standard for the chores, dishes and laundry, and I feel like I have to live up to what he expects instead of running my home, my way. He has routines, he has places he wants to put things, and I find myself quickly feeling like I will have no place for me. I requested the "spare" room for myself - and I keep finding myself living there in my head, making that one room my only "me" space. He said he doesn't want me to clam up in that one room. He said he wants me to be comfortable and to live there like it's my home, too. He has definitely said all the right things. Now if I can just get out of my own way, and rely on God for the strength to walk through this process.
Today I pray that my focus will be on God, and what He is doing through this process. I pray that I will let all the other worries fall away, and I will just rely solely on my Father in heaven who adores me. He is the only One that will love me no matter what, forever. He has a purpose and a plan, and I want to walk in and live in that purpose, that plan.
What has God brought you to that challenged you? How did God bring you through it?
God is in control, and Jesus is enough.
Favorites, post #1
I have far too many favorites in this life to list them all in one blog post, but tonight I'm going to list one.
This post is dedicated to my youngest son and his snuggles. It's 12:40AM, Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. We've been snowed in for one day, and what a great day it was. The boys went to bed hours ago. About 15 minutes ago my sweet boy came out into the living room, where his Dad and I are conversing, checking FB, and I'm working on my book.
His Dad asked him to come over to where he is sitting, and my little guy looked at Dad, then me, then Dad, then me, and crawled up on the couch next to me. He is now softly snoring, under my blanket, leaned up against me.
He wakes up every night, and searches for me. Whether I'm in my bed, on my computer, awake, or asleep, he looks for me. When he finds me, he snuggles me. I should probably do more to break this habit, but somehow I doubt he'll be doing it for much longer. If I'm asleep he never wakes me up. Yet, if I wake up and he hasn't come in to snuggle me, I feel a little bit sad.
This is one of my many favorites in this blessed life. What is one of your favorites?
This post is dedicated to my youngest son and his snuggles. It's 12:40AM, Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. We've been snowed in for one day, and what a great day it was. The boys went to bed hours ago. About 15 minutes ago my sweet boy came out into the living room, where his Dad and I are conversing, checking FB, and I'm working on my book.
His Dad asked him to come over to where he is sitting, and my little guy looked at Dad, then me, then Dad, then me, and crawled up on the couch next to me. He is now softly snoring, under my blanket, leaned up against me.
He wakes up every night, and searches for me. Whether I'm in my bed, on my computer, awake, or asleep, he looks for me. When he finds me, he snuggles me. I should probably do more to break this habit, but somehow I doubt he'll be doing it for much longer. If I'm asleep he never wakes me up. Yet, if I wake up and he hasn't come in to snuggle me, I feel a little bit sad.
This is one of my many favorites in this blessed life. What is one of your favorites?
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Thank you....
I have reached the 800 page views mark, and just wanted to thank all of you that are reading my blog.
THANK YOU!
It has amazed me the traffic that has been generated - over the last two weeks it has tripled.
I'd love to see more comments from everybody, and I'm going to start trying to reply to comments.
You can always email me at perceptionsby1@live.com if you want!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
THANK YOU!
It has amazed me the traffic that has been generated - over the last two weeks it has tripled.
I'd love to see more comments from everybody, and I'm going to start trying to reply to comments.
You can always email me at perceptionsby1@live.com if you want!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
Snowed In!
It's February 1st, and we are snowed in! Now, we didn't get a white Christmas (and we were even in Colorado!), and we spent two days at the park (Jan. 28th & 29th) because it was in the 70's outside, but today we are snowed in! It's beautiful outside - I think I may put on my boots and coat and go take pictures! I just can't even believe this weather.
Instead of sitting around being bored, I think we might make some snow ice cream, and we are going to study more about Earth, and the weather! Honestly, if I had my way, I would hide under my covers, in my room, and write. But my two small boys, and my large one, would probably not like that! LOL
The large one decided we had to have corned beef hash for breakfast (after I mentioned it, of course), so he walked to the local store. It is now noon, and I would be starving, but I went ahead and got me a snack. So, I'm not terribly crabby, and he can just make us a tasty lunch.
We are letting the boys play the Wii for a little while - they are enjoying it. We have the JumpStart Pet Rescue game, and the boys thoroughly enjoy it.
Well, my large boy should be home soon, so I better get off of here and help with dishes and laundry and all of those home-care tasks!
Instead of sitting around being bored, I think we might make some snow ice cream, and we are going to study more about Earth, and the weather! Honestly, if I had my way, I would hide under my covers, in my room, and write. But my two small boys, and my large one, would probably not like that! LOL
The large one decided we had to have corned beef hash for breakfast (after I mentioned it, of course), so he walked to the local store. It is now noon, and I would be starving, but I went ahead and got me a snack. So, I'm not terribly crabby, and he can just make us a tasty lunch.
We are letting the boys play the Wii for a little while - they are enjoying it. We have the JumpStart Pet Rescue game, and the boys thoroughly enjoy it.
Well, my large boy should be home soon, so I better get off of here and help with dishes and laundry and all of those home-care tasks!
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