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Due to some new information, and finding what works better for me, you can now find my blog here:

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I've even imported all of my previous posts to the new address, so you can continue to enjoy all of my content.

Thank you!

Surviving or Thriving?

Every so often I step back and evaluate how my journey as a mom is going. One of the big things I like to ask myself is: Am I surviving, or am I thriving? (I evaluate my kids, and ask this same question about how they are doing, but for this post, I want to examine my heart and mind.)

As I have been evaluating myself this last week, my conclusion is this: I’m surviving. The tell tale signs:

1. I don’t wake my kids up. In fact, if they’ll sleep until 11am, they won’t hear a word from me about it. 8 or 8:30pm is still bedtime, and the more peace I get in the morning, the better off I am.
2. Breakfast and Lunch are the same meal. Usually cereal. Then we do a little school, then I offer some sort of snack (usually fruit) and beg my children to go have a quiet time. (Who wakes up at 11am and needs a quiet time by 1pm?!)
3. I would burn down my husband’s bedroom door with my evil stares if I could. Abandoning the household to go hide in your bedroom the moment you walk in the front door is more than infuriating. You want time to yourself? Get up at 4am like I do, instead of letting your alarm go off for an entire hour, therefore throwing off my rhythm and writing time. Yes, I can still hear your alarm when I close my door, and I don’t think it’s fair.

I could add to this list, and complain a lot more about the mess my house is in, the amount of dishes that pile up, the laundry that needs to be hung up and put away, etc. And all of this complaining is a clear indicator that I am surviving parenthood right now. Thankfully, having learned to ask myself this question, I have a few things I know work to get me back on track toward surviving.

1.      Make a schedule. Decide when to wake the kids up (10:45 is not early enough…) get them up, feed them breakfast as it’s own meal, different from lunch, and at a much earlier time.

2.      Following breakfast, we start on school. I always feel better about the day when we have school completed by Noon, can eat lunch, have a 1pm quiet time, and free play for the afternoon.

3.      Turn off the TV. We added cable to our home for a minute, and decided yesterday that the cable goes. Hubby will be making that phone call tonight. It is a waste of time, and it makes it really easy for me to be lazy with the boys. And they’ve morphed into super-monsters that demand to be entertained by the talking box ALL day. Yuck. We’ll go back to our DVD’s and keep them limited at that.

4.      Give up some me time. Like, from 8am to 11am. I still get up at 4am. From 4 to 8, I’m on my own, writing, or wasting time on Facebook, or reading other blogs, or whatever it is I decide to do. That is my time. 4 hours of my own time. The only interruption is when hubby wakes up he has to notify me, and when my coffee cup is empty, I must refill it. I’ve decided that’s good for my circulation though, so getting up to walk to the kitchen is probably a health benefit more than an interruption.

So, it’s 6am. In two hours, I’m going to wake my kids up, and I think I’ll scramble some eggs and peel some oranges for breakfast. The first few days without cable, and waking them up early will be the roughest, but as I reinforce my desire to be intentional as a parent, I will watch my children thrive. And that is what I want far more than teaching them to be lazy.

What do you do to stay on track as a parent? Do you notice that sometimes it’s easy to fall into a “lazy” routine? How do you fix it? Are you thriving, or surviving?

Discovering and Utilizing My Elements

I've been trying, since the whole ventilator thing in January, to discover my passions and to separate them from my interests. More simply: There are things I am merely interested in, and things I am genuinely passionate about.


In searching, I've discovered I have two elements, and they battle for my time, attention, and energy.

Element #1: Children.

Mine, others, all of 'em. I love kids, I love teaching kids. I love being surrounded by their silly conversations, their laughter, and their smiles. I am opening a home daycare once again, because I truly am "in my element" when surrounded by kids. That's part of the reason I love homeschooling!

Element #2: Writing

I cannot stress how much I love and need to write. I start feeling weird if I don't spend some time on it every day. It's like my brain backlogs, over fills, floods, and gets compressed under all the information. Then, when I spend some time writing, I decompress, relax, open the floodgates and relieve the pressure. Emotionally and mentally, I need to write. I love it, it is a driving force unlike any I've ever known. It wakes me up at 3 AM, keeps me up at night, and could easily occupy my day if my first element wasn't already doing so.

These two elements, at times, feel like polar opposites. Not that kids aren't great inspiration for writing, but when I have kids around there is no writing. I know, because I've tried. But they require my attention and focus in a way that I cannot offer when I am writing. Because when I am writing, I am in another time and place all together. So, I will continue to grow in my elements. I will stop trying to blend writing into my "kid" element, although my kid element provides lots of fuel for my writing element.

I will also try to be intentional about seeking God, and His plan, for both elements.

What is your element and how are you living into and growing the potential of your element? How long did it take you to discover your element?

  

What my day has looked like so far:

6:00AM - I got up, and began sorting pictures on my computer. It was running sluggish until I removed 5 gigs worth of photos from it. Thank goodness for discs!

7:00AM - IT got up and wanted to watch Little Einsteins. I gave in.

8:00AM - IT wanted me to watch Little Einsteins with him. I gave in, thinking that AT would be up soon and we'd get some school work done.

11:00AM - AT woke up, started playing Little Einsteins again, because IT and I had fallen asleep. The TV coming back on woke up IT and I.

Noon - We left the house for the ATM, gas station, bank, ATM, and came back home.

1:45PM - We arrived home. I printed our spelling worksheets.

2:00PM - I let AT post another blog post. (http://zaymole3.blogspot.com/2011/05/target.html) (Yes, this is a little homeschooling project that my 5 year old wanted to do. I agreed. I get a lot of weird looks and comments when I admit that.)

2:20PM - I'm finishing this post, and we are going to go do school. And I secretly hope it's one of those super smooth days where we knock the work out and can get back to doing....all of this nothing that we've been doing.

When people look at me and ask how exactly I home school and keep up with it, my first thought is always something like "You should see how late I sleep some days!" Now, granted. I'm a writer that gets up at 4:00AM about 5 days a week, so I can work on my novel, but sometimes I get to nap from 7am-9am before the boys get up. That, my friend, is how I do it. I go to bed at 9pm, I get up at 4am, I nap from 7am-9am, then we start our day. And some days, we don't start school until 2pm, because that's just how it goes.

Oh, and my husband comes home and cleans the house. Because I am realizing that I just don't do so great at that. I pretty much just don't worry about it. And he walks in and screams like a lady (a poor lady scream, as Megamind would put it) and he vacuums, and gets the boys busy picking up all of their toys, and he cleans up after me. And he reminds me to switch the laundry (or he just does it!)

So, I don't do it alone. I don't do it precisely. I don't do it perfectly. I don't do it at the same time every day. Some days I don't feel like doing it. Some days go better than others. Some days I have no patience, and I make those days free play, and I highly encourage my kids to spend the day in the backyard or their bedroom. Other days, I'm in the groove, and I jump out of bed (or my writing corner) full of energy, I hunt my kids down, and drag them exuberantly off on some adventure. Sometimes they come willingly, and sometimes they are kicking and screaming the whole way.

This is just kinda how it goes around here! And we love it (usually)!

Guest Post featuring Chuck Burns

(I'd like to welcome my first guest blogger! Thank you for your post today, Chuck!

Here's a scripture reference I'm including, per Chuck's permission:
John 2:14-18 (King James Version)

And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise. And his disciples remembered that it was written, The zeal of thine house hath eaten me up. Then answered the Jews and said unto him, What sign shewest thou unto us, seeing that thou doest these things?)

Generally, when most people think of Christians, they see loud, passionate
people, clutching their Bibles, and shouting about sin, morality, and whatnot.
When those same people think of Libertarians, they see dope-smoking hippies,
saying "yea man, do whatever you want, it's all cool man." By the end of this
article, you will be able to understand how these two seemingly different
groups of people can, indeed, be one in the same.

These two completely different groups of people, are the perception that most
in the mass media have of each group, and it's the image they project onto
their viewers. What they fail to consider is this: me, and people like me.
We're proud of our Christianity, we just don't stand on the street corner and
tell every passerby they're going to burn. We believe in freedom of choice,
as long as that choice does not interfere with another person's freedoms.

I have some Christian friends, and family, who really don't quite understand
it all. Let me lay it all out, plain and simple. Jesus taught several
principles, but his underlying teaching was personal choice. You either chose
to follow him, or you didn't. No laws, no government saying "These are things
you must do." None of that. "Follow me, listen to my tales, and learn from
me." Jesus Christ did not enter government service. He was not born into
politics, and then pass laws requiring this and that.

What did He do when he came upon the money-changers in the temple? He made
them leave. He did NOT tell them to completely stop doing it, nor did he try
to implement laws to make their practice illegal. He simply said "This is my
Father's house, and you will not do that here." Think of the significance of
that act. He showed his displeasure, and removed them from his Father's
house. That was his right to do so.

Consider the prostitute who approached him, He blessed her after she repented
for her sins. But did He then try to make prostitution illegal?

Your morality is your own, society does not become depraved because of a lack
of laws, but by a lack of morals, and you simply cannot legislate morality.
Oh sure, you can pass laws banning this, that, and the other thing. But those
things still continue, and our government wastes precious resources on
policing crimes that have no victims other than the criminal. In most cases,
you are supposed to incarcerate the criminal, and give counseling, thoughts
and prayers to the victim. What if these two are the same person?

We will be tempted, and we will sometimes fall. Do we, as Christians, punish
others as they fall, or try to help them back up?

Judge ye not, lest ye be judged. People can do evil things to themselves, and
to others. Libertarians only stop them from doing the second. Morality is
not forcing your own morality on others. We should look at someone doing
something against our Christian beliefs, and tell them "I pray for you,
brother/sister." Not look at them and say "I see you doing that, but minding
your own business, so I'm calling the cops to have you arrested for it!"

Remember that, the next time you hear someone trying to put a square peg like
me, into a round hole.
-------
Chuck Burns, is the main high-tech redneck, at The Southern Libertarian.
He blogs about politics, liberty, and freedom.

Rely on Interpretation

In the business of writing and photography I rely on interpretation. This is daunting at times, because just when I strike the perfect moment in literary genius, write it up and send it to a trusted critique partner, I often learn that my meaning was understood by them much differently than it played through my mind. This is less frequently an issue with photography. Although it's happened - I take that priceless shot, thinking it speaks volumes, only to have it fall flat on it's face in the eyes of a different viewer.

My hubby tells me drawing and painting is much like writing in the realms of interpretation.

So how do I combat this? Well, I generally begin boring, lengthy descriptions that lack the necessary feel to drive a reader to continue turning pages. I am learning; however, that less is more. I keep asking myself, "does the way my MC (main character) is feeling/responding reveal something about her character?" if it doesn't, I re-write. This seems to be helping my readers interpret what I'm writing in a way similar to what I intended.

Yet, there's a catch. We have all walked through stuff, junk, and messes in our life. We have all had blessings, no matter how big or small. Those things affect how we perceive and interpret the actions and feelings of characters that live in the pages of our favorite novels.

Jon Acuff blogged an amazing blog tip that I think applies in small ways to novels, as well. (You can find his post here: http://www.jonacuff.com/blog/a-blog-secret-from-michael-scott-and-the-office/)

So, maybe I'll create the outline, and let the readers color in the pages.

Do you think your life "stuff" affects your interpretation of someone else's work? Why or why not?

Let's Celebrate!

Wow! We've hit 2000 views and I am feeling really excited right now. I wish I had something to give away! LOL Thank you for taking time from your day to read what I write - you have blessed me beyond measure! This little blog is like one of my babies, well kind of anyway. It's a pet project that has grown exponentially since January. I love the platform it provides for my opinion and the fact that you read it means the world to me!

To all of my followers and fans, I <3 you! :) Thank you!

The Battle of Health vs. Opinion

The Battle of Health vs. Opinion

Some of you may already know that I am struggling with my weight. I weighed myself for the first time since we moved. It had been 48 days since the last time I weighed in. (That's the convenience of using a Wii as your scale, it tracks everything. It even makes comments about how much weight you've gained (or lost, I would assume, don't know though) when you use it.) I was horrified by the number. It wasn't pretty. I'm 65 lbs OVER my target weight. 65 pounds?!? How did that ever happen to ME? I was the skinny one. I was the one that could eat a full size burrito at lunch, bacon cheeseburger for dinner, a tub of Ben & Jerry's before bed, get up and do it all again, and never gain a pound. Well, I did some stuff that messed up my metabolism. Plus, I am no longer riding horses on a nearly daily basis. Or running around all over the valley chasing my friends and boys. I am a stay at home Mom (oh yeah, pregnancy didn't help! LOL) and I tend to snack too much.

The first part of this year I went to the hospital for severe asthma, and was put on a ventilator. I truly believed I was going to die. I am both thankful to be here with my kids and disappointed that I didn't get to go Home. When I woke up, got the ventilator removed, and started eating again, I vowed to lose the weight. I vowed to exercise. I wasn't going to live in an unhealthy manner any more. My life had been spared, and I was going to make it the best life possible.

Don't get me wrong, some changes I've made have stuck. I get up at 4:00 am to write, because I've realized how passionate I am about writing. (And I'm about 30 pages from finishing the first draft of my first novel!!) I weeded through my life to find out what I was passionate about and what I was merely interested in. I'm opening a home daycare again, because I truly love the joy that children bring into life. I love teaching, leading, guiding, and loving on all these little guys and gals.

But the changes to my diet and exercise routine didn't stick. In January, after I got home and once I was able to move around more I started in on the Wii, doing the step aerobics, and increased my length of time from thirty minutes to an hour. I started planning my food, and cut back calories, and was moving in the right track. I even cut out fast food! It was great. Then the big move happened and I allowed us to grab fast food a few times because it was either really late to cook dinner, we didn't have the pots and pans yet, we had pots and pans and forgot to bring the food, etc. Moving sucks! LOL

Well, we are all moved in. Have been since April 1st. Guess what? I've not been working out, I've not been eating right. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. I want to have my un-hubby take some pictures of me for my FB fan page (that I'm about to start) and for the blog, and for the book cover, but not like this. I want that 65lbs gone. Yet, it won't melt off the night before pictures. I need to start working on it.

Then some words I said to un-hubby when I was being mean came back to haunt me.

"If you didn't change when your health hung in the mix, you aren't going to change because your opinion is hanging now."

Whoa.

So true.

And my health is suffering. So, I'm pulling out "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkheurst and reading it again. I'm going to start small. Cut back on sugar, not go back for seconds, eat a salad for lunch every day. I did really good with my selections at the store last night. Plus, I'm going to make myself fit in 30 minutes of exercise. I wish my asthma didn't get in the way of bike riding - cause I'd start riding for 30 minutes a day. Maybe I'll start with ten minutes on the bike and build up. Use the other 20 minutes doing something a bit lighter....

Do you struggle with eating right? Exercise? How do you combat this struggle?

The Micro Garden

I think, aside from apartment window planters, my sons and I have planted the smallest garden ever. We planted corn, carrots, and green beans. We are also trying to get a melon patch turned and ready for seeds. We will have cantaloupe, watermelon and pumpkin in the melon patch. When the melon patch is planted the garden will no longer qualify as micro, but for the moment, it does.

The grown boy is concerned about the dog eating the plants.

The children beg to see the plants everyday - and are dismayed that in two days, we don't already have corn to eat.

I am determined to rototill a large portion of our backyard, fence it off, rototill it again with some good compost, and let it sit all winter. Then, come spring, I will rototill it again with a little more compost, and I will start all of my little plants in either the garage with grow lights or the dining room. I think having a daycare open in my home will require me to use grow lights in the garage. We shall see.

My long term goal: 10 acres, chickens, lambs, goats, my horse, and a large enough garden to make us a minimum of 60% food self-sufficient. A lofty goal, yes. A worthwhile and attainable goal? Yes!

Are you gardening this year? What have you planted? What made you realize you wanted to grow your own food?

Weighing Sin

I've been considering for the way we qualify and quantify sin. I believe that God sees justice, and sin, and eternity in a way that I am not capable of fully understanding. Knowing that I am a sinner, in need of grace, causes me to justify myself by lessening my own sins. I make my sins seem a lot less significant by looking at the people in this world that are considered bad. At least I didn't: rape, kill, torture, victimize, etc. Right?

That makes me better, right?

Humanly, I'd like to think so. But, when I consider the sin that marks the fall of man, I have to wonder if this is all a human attempt at justifying myself. They ate a piece of fruit from a tree. Okay. Let me say that again. All they did was eat a piece of fruit from a tree. You remember them, right? Adam and Eve, enjoying the lush, perfect Garden of Eden, and freely enjoying the presence of God. Those two? That had the life, the people we say "Why'd you do that guys?? Come on, life would be so much better now if you hadn't eaten the fruit."

But we're talking about eating a piece of fruit. Like, I can't minimize that enough. On one hand, we have murder, on the other fruit. But their sin separated them from God, caused them to be cast from the garden, and changed things for all of mankind.

Are you following me? If we think about sin as disobedience - as making the wrong choice - and realize that God takes all disobedience in the same seriousness, then my sin is no less wrong than anyone else's. I don't get a different dose of grace. I don't get a teaspoon instead of a tablespoon. I get grace. The debt (which is death) for my sins, paid in full, by the precious blood of Jesus.

As I picture myself, kneeling before the throne of God, I cannot imagine trying to give God my justifications. My, "ands, ifs, buts," about my life. I cannot fathom trying to tell the Creator of Justice, the Author of Mercy, the Giver of Grace, that I didn't do "too bad" - that I was better than another of His creation. I am thankful for the gift of life, for the price that Christ paid for me. On that day, when I am brought forward to be judged, I will keep my mouth shut and let my Redeemer speak for me. Because I don't have the eloquence of words it would take to redeem myself.

Focus, Focus.

I am lacking all focus today. This week, actually. I get started on one project and am suddenly derailed by another. Point in case: 15 minutes ago I started working on the laundry. Now I am blogging. I actually sat down to jot down some ideas I just had for a novel I'm going to write. The boys are happily enjoying the sunshine and dirt that the backyard so readily provides. I am awaiting the arrival of my un-husband. We are going to grill salmon for dinner tonight, which means I should start the brown rice soon (that stuff takes forever.)

I've spent about 60% of my time today working on blogging-things. Like, finding guest bloggers to add some content and variety to my blog. Like, reading about SEO and what that means for me. I've also worked on learning how to use a social deck. Hashtags, retweets, social deck, SEO, my head might explode.

As I'm working on learning how to expand my online platform, I am writing a novel, opening a home daycare, and homeschooling two boys. Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy, and I'm pretty sure that I am. Yet, my life seems so great right now, I can't imagine it getting any better. I am filled to be emptied again, and I am thanking God for all that is going on in my life.

Guess I'll get back to that laundry, or maybe I'll get sidetracked doing something else on the way....

90wpm

I've spent most of my life proud of the fact that I can type 90 words per minute. Recently; however, I've learned something about that accomplishment. It is insignificant when it comes to writing. Especially character building for a novel. Just because I can type 90 words a minute, does not mean I can churn out page after page every time I sit down. My fingers working 90 words a minute, does not make the process of churning the information out any faster. Some days, it is slow going. It is like sitting in a crowded room, trying to hear the details of someone else's life, as they talk to me amidst the noise. I have to filter out the noise to listen, and some days that is a slow, painful process. Sometimes, digging through this stuff from deep within myself takes much more work than just typing 90 words a minute. So, now I think I shall consider typing so fast a small thing compared to the work of creating a character, complete with a personality, and filling page after page with information about her life.

A little late...

So, everyone is posting about Osama Bin Laden's death today, and I'm a little slow the race. Granted, I was up at 4 this morning, and should have had plenty of time to post early. But, I'm always a bit behind on the news, and by the time I saw a report about his death, I had wrapped up my morning writing time.

Besides, what can I add or say that isn't already being said?

Oh yeah, and I'm afraid to be controversial, I know, I know. Readers love controversy. But I don't like to stir the pot. But after thinking and thinking, I do have a thought.

How is the sanctity of one life any different than that of another life? Would it have not been a far greater victory that the leader of a terrorist organization came to Christ and lead some of his followers to a righteous standing with God?

I don't know God's plan, but maybe, somewhere, in the heart of someone that could reach that man, God was preparing a way. Maybe God was readying a heart and a person to have the courage to speak to Osama about Christ's love, mercy, forgiveness. Maybe his message would have changed from terror to transformation?

We will never know now, and my questions will remain unanswered. I have to say I am pleasantly surprised by the number of my friends that recognize that today America is celebrating a death.

No, I am not anti-American. I support our troops - especially knowing that they are following orders from higher ups. I just think our focus is skewed. It seems as though the focus of our prayers and thanks are not in line with what God is thinking or hoping for.

Romans 3:22-24
This righteousness is given through faith inⁿJesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Guess I'll finish that other controversial post I've been working on...it goes right along with this.

Please comment, share your thoughts. Where do you stand? Should we be celebrating this death as a victory?

A Glimpse into the Heart of God

I've embarked on a journey that has been unlike any journey I've ever taken before. I've decided to write a novel, and this time, I've stuck with it. This isn't my first attempt, but this attempt has carried me further than any attempt before it. This morning, after writing 19 pages in my book, I've stopped to reflect. I had this profound thought and I just have to share it. What if, as a writer, I get a small glimpse into the heart of God when developing my characters. Now, I know that God is truly omniscient, which is a huge thought and hard to wrap my brain around. Yet, for a moment, when I'm creating a world and characters to populate it, I get a small sense of what it would be like to be omniscient. And yet, my characters surprise me. This is a deeply personal thing to share with you, because even I know that it may sound a bit crazy. Yet, they take on this form of their own, and when they jump off the pages and shake me by the collar, telling me that I got a scene wrong, I wonder if we surprise God. The surprises would be much the same, because everything about my characters, I crafted. Every surprise they present me with came from deep within myself. Is it the same with God? Is that what makes our relationship with Him personal? He is Creator, and He knows me better than I even know myself, yet I have paused to wonder, do we, in small ways, surprise him? All that we are comes from deep within Him, created by Him, but when we display our character and personality, does He sometimes smile and chuckle a little at who we are? Is this process of getting to know God a two way street in which He is getting to know us? I've always considered that God knows all about me, which is true, but maybe, just maybe, He is getting to know me. It's like the subtle, yet vast, difference between knowing about God by knowledge of scripture, and actually knowing Him.

Do you think God already knows everything about us and that we are incapable of surprising Him? Or do you think, just as our own humanly creations occasionally surprise us, we get the opportunity to pleasantly surprise our Creator?

I've been identifying with the wrong generation.

I have a confession to make. This may come as a shock to some of you. I have been listening to my friends play the "80's" station and while I occasionally recognize some of the songs to be ones my dad really liked, it isn't music I identified with. I could sing along, but I rarely, if ever, heard a favorite on the "80's" station. This has been bothering me. I spent all of my money on music at one point in my life, and I can't fathom why I don't recognize more of it, or identify with it. Or stroll down memory lane remembering that sleep over with that friend where we listened to that single all night long. Why doesn't hearing the "80's" station do this for me?!

Because I've been identifying with the wrong generation.

Yep, that's right. I forget that I tend to hang with people that are a few years older than me. I was introduced to the world just a few years before the "80's" went out. So, in exploring all of the channels on TV (since we now subscribe to services...), I found all of the music channels. My first thought? Put on the "80's" like my friends. Yet, I again was not getting into it. So I tried something new. I listened to the "90's" and wouldn't you know it? I recognized almost every song they played, recalled owning a high percentage of CD's that played that very same music, and even remembered listening to a song all night with a friend.

So, for however brief of a moment, I'm reminded that I'm only in my twenties. Better than being reminded about my age, is being reminded that I grew up with some favorites and things, and I can identify with a generation.

What generation do you identify with? Have you always been aware of your generational identity or did you have a striking epiphany one day?

That's just the way it goes...

Our school time is running peacefully and precisely! (Well, as precisely as educating two different learners on different levels can go!)

The boys are doing great! We are doing our school year a little funny, starting and ending in April - doing year round school, with week long breaks every 4-5 weeks. It's a great schedule, and I'm happy about it. My oldest has jumped right into Kindergarten, and although all this new curriculum is a bit overwhelming, he just works one subject at a time, and he loves it! I let him pick what order we go in, and let him help me read the schedule, so he feels like he has some control over how his day is going.

The biggest turn around: My youngest sits and does worksheets with us for the full 2 1/2 - 3 hours that we do school. I quit fighting him. I just let him pick what pages he wants to do, and what stories he wants to read, and we just go at his pace. If he doesn't want to, he can go play quietly in his room with the door closed, and guess what? Not ten minutes later he is always back asking to do more school! My heart and head feel better about this, because I don't like struggling through our days - no one looks forward to that!

My oldest has realized that he really can read, it's pretty funny. We had an argument that he can read words, but not books. So I got out one of my big books and had him sound out words on the page, when he realized that words make books, he got really excited. Then he caught me writing my book, and he got even more excited. He is really curious about why I'm writing a book - so I think we'll have a book writing/illustrating lesson tomorrow!

My youngest has discovered that he can cut out anything, as long as he goes slow. So, our new favorite medium: Scissors and Glue. He's one cuttin' fool! Those are his favorite worksheets - and numbers are a close second. He wants to read, but he gets a little frustrated because memorizing the letter sounds seems to be a challenge for him. Well, just a few of them. He's got all but 4 of them down! I keep reminding him that letter sounds come first, then sounding out words, but I may have to find a mix of sight words and phonics for him. I think I'll give it another few months - he's only three right now! I have to remember that!

Well, I'm pumped, I'm loving how our school year has started, and I'm looking forward to all of the learning we will be doing this year!

How is April going for you? Can you believe May is so near?

PS - My book is coming along beautifully! I am very excited about how it's going!

Forgiveness

Luke 6:36-38
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.



God has been reminding me lately just how much He has forgiven me for. Or maybe, since God sends our sin as far as the east is from west, I'm reminding myself. Or growing enough to recognize it. You know what I'm realizing? With as much grace and mercy as has been shown to me, I really have no leg to stand on when it comes to holding a grudge against another. This is a difficult process for me, mainly when it comes to my relationship with Stacy. Yet, as I grow, God is giving me the strength to walk in forgiveness, to live it, to give it. When I read the verses above, it made me realize how much forgiveness I need, to be reconciled to God. I want to be forgiven, which is a great motivator for forgiving. It's always hardest to forgive the people closest to me. When someone I barely know does something that makes me cringe, or hurts my feelings, I just remind myself that they barely know me, and it's pretty easy to let it go. Yet, when someone that I love, that claims to love me, hurts or offends me, I get angry and it seems impossible to let it go. I mean, they should have known better. They love me and know me and why would they do that? or say that?



Do you struggle with forgiveness? Who do you find it hardest to forgive and what is your go-to scripture to help you live a life of forgiveness?

Christianity: Faith For Sale

(Warning: This post may be offensive. This is something that has been weighing on my heart, and it's not a glittery subject. Please comment if you have something to add, say, disagree with, etc. I look forward to and welcome all comments.)

This is an image in my head, not a real event:

Ring. Ring.

"Offices of such and such church, so and so speaking."

"Yes, hi. I'd like to buy a ticket to faith please."

"Okay, that's $10 a ticket and the event is Friday at 7 PM."

"Okay, here's my CC #"

"Okay, thanks."

After hanging up the phone, I turn to announce to my husband that I have just purchased two tickets to faith, and should, on Friday, be turned into a better Christian. This should sound good to him, being a better Christian would in turn, make me a better wife. The week passes, and I arrive to receive my purchased faith. I go in, get some sort of handout, pamphlet, book, something to show for my time. Then I sit and listen. I listen to some speaker comment on the book they wrote, or even better, a book someone else wrote. Sometimes they comment on someone elses comments about something someone else wrote. By the time my two hours is up, I'm not sure what scripture has been talked about, but I get a gold star for attendance, right? Another event is marketed, and I buy that ticket to faith. Upon arriving home, my purchase has made little impact in my life, and my husband can't see a difference.

How often is this the case? With so many "bible" studies that come with a ticket price, and someone commenting on a book they wrote, or someone else's book, isn't it like trying to buy faith? Yes, I'd like the $10 plate today. Any chance you'd add an extra scoop? My faith is waning. It's a funny image, then again, it's not so funny. Faith can't be bought and sold. I cannot sell you faith. And Christianity is just the next business opportunity. We sell Christianity like a gold-star, like a team t-shirt, like a fad diet. Here, come try this! It's only $10. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I can't find any reference to Jesus charging people to hear him speak. Or how about the disciples? You think that Matthew stood at the door selling tickets, while Peter preached? Think again. That's not how it was. The message of salvation is free. The healing, hope, peace, and faith that only God can give us, is free for us. I can't sell you faith. I can't buy my faith.

Now, am I speaking out against public speaking? Sharing wisdom? Writing? No. In fact, I love to write. And I hope to publish a book. I even am interested in speaking on matters of faith. I know publishing isn't free, and I'm not against book sales in certain ways. Such as...bookstores? Amazon?

This trend needs to be reversed. When a study is offered, it should be from the Bible. We should study the bible together, read the Word together, pray together. And you shouldn't have to pay to take part in that. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." I believe that we help one another grow. I think that we should accept Godly counsel, and we should let other people speak into our lives. More importantly, we should let God speak into our lives, and we should seek Him and who He would have us listen to. Obviously the example given us in the gospel is that Jesus & His disciples spoke. They spoke in small meetings and large. They shared the gospel. They wrote letters. They encouraged, and even corrected. Yet, I don't see any account of them charging people to hear the message they had.

(Final note: this is not about tithing, either. Tithing is biblical, and we should all be doing it. I will have a follow up post about tithing, and forgiveness.)

My "Perfect" Children

I think society places to much emphasis on how perfect children are. Now, I agree that children are a gift from God and a blessing! I believe we have a great calling to lead them in the way they should go, in pointing them to God, and helping them to live in honor of Him. I do not think; however, that children are perfect. I've come to this conclusion due to the horrible cycle of guilt that comes when I over react. I need to learn to not over react, but something that is helping my patience is realizing that I'm raising SINNERS. Yes, I said it. I just accused my children of being sinners. Now, I'm not playing judge and jury here, I'm not about to decide their eternal fate. I am; however, much more burdened to lead them to the cross. Sinners need the cross. PERFECT little blessings don't. And if they are PERFECT, and I'm the only sinner in this house, then all of the times I don't have enough patience, are simply my fault, and only my fault. And I am a bad mom. But, if I'm a sinner, raising sinners, then guess what? Yes, I'm the adult, but they are truly misbehaving (sometimes) and when I over react, that is just my sinful nature showing through, much the same as their disobedience is their sinful nature showing through. This revelation has helped me take a deep breath, it has reminded me that Christ has the victory, and it also put my kids into a better perspective. It's been easy for me to teach "lightly" on the subjects of salvation, partially due to their ages, and even more due to the fact that everyone tells us our kids are perfect! They aren't perfect. They are created the way God made them, and they have talents we should encourage them to use. They are not perfect. They are sinners. Born sinful, and they need grace as badly as I do. So, I will work harder to model grace to them, while taking on grace as my identity. I am forgiven, I will forgive them repeatedly, and I will not allow Satan to trap me in a cycle of guilt. Jesus already won the battle!

How has the perception of children being "perfect" affected you? Does it make it easier knowing they are sinners in need of grace, just the same as you?

Extending Grace to My Kids

I am the mom of two amazing little boys, and most days, I feel blessed beyond all measure. They are truthfully the most amazing people I've ever learned anything from. Sometimes, I think parenting isn't about teaching children, it's about learning as an adult. However, there are days when I want to scream, with my eyes bugging out, and jump up and down because they just won't listen. I've been thinking about grace, and the beauty of it. God doesn't scream at me like that. Sometimes I'm sure He gets frustrated by me, though! And each day is NEW in His eyes. How many times have I gotten up in the morning, anticipating a day like we had yesterday? My poor children are then subjected to my apprehension. Inevitably, we have a rotten day. So, how about the beauty of grace? Can I extend that to my children? Let's see how this looks the way I'm doing it now:

Today, you were careless and spilled your water, so I put you in timeout.

Tomorrow, same thing. So you had to put your nose in the corner in timeout.

The next day, same thing. So, I swatted your butt.

At what point does the progression have me strangling you because you just aren't listening?! Too often we allow offenses to build on offenses. Whether they are the same or not. We should treat each offense as a new offense, and deal with it as such. Discipline is necessary, progression, not so much. A repeat offense doesn't mean they are being stubborn (sometimes, but not usually), they are small and they forget. I am big and I forget! So, I'm going to stop progressing my discipline and holding a grudge against them for yesterday's offenses...or the offenses of an hour ago. Or ten minutes ago. I'm going to deal with each incident as it's own separate incident, and see how much better we do.

This is forgiveness in action, and if I'm going to teach it to them, I have to demonstrate it. Forgiveness is not holding an account of the offenses against us. That includes when our children commit an offense against us!

How do you deal with discipline, poor choices, mistakes, and the simply "forgotten" rule?

Life Changing

Is it enough if I just write life changing words? I should think not. I hope that my words bring hope and transformation to you, but as I reflect on them myself, I realize how much I've grown, changed, transformed. I also realize, in reading through past posts, how much room I still have for growth. If all I'm doing is writing great words, but I'm not experiencing change, growth & transformation then my words are empty. If I spend my days hidden in this cozy room, in my fuzzy robe, writing about the great things that need to be done in this world, but never set foot out the front door to do anything, does that make me a hypocrite? I think so.

I don't just want to write great things and do nothing. I don't just want to sit here, with my perspective, write it out, publish it on the web, then sit back and drink my coffee, hidden inside my house. I want to write the right words, I want to write the words that God lays on my heart, not just the ramblings of a less than perfect girl. Yet, at the end of the day, I want to have done more than that. I want to be an example to my children, an example to my neighbor, an example to my community. Being Christ-like is a call to action. Jesus didn't sit somewhere, writing letters and blogs, hidden from plain sight. He was in full view of the public eye, healing the sick, raising the dead, and encouraging the broken.

As I write, and hope to help someone, hope to encourage someone, hope to reach out to someone, I've realized something. My own growth seems to flourish more fully when I write. I am the one learning. I am the one growing, changing, and being filled with hope. When I started this blogging journey, I thought it was going to be a fun means to an end. I would monetize my blog, and this would be fun and profitable. Then, I removed the monetize feature from my blog (more about that here). After a lull and trying to figure out what direction to go with the fun side of blogging, I started writing for you, the reader. Or for the web. I don't have a very clear topic for my blog, other than it being about the life of a girl seeking Christ as she raises two kids amongst other life-challenges. I wanted to be hopeful, funny, encouraging.

Now, a few months later, I'm realizing that sometimes, more often than not, I'm writing for me. Not in as selfish of a way as that sounds. It's just like, as I write something profound, it strikes me and suddenly I realize that I need to do something different in my own life.

What is life changing for you? How do you learn best? What do you need to change in your life and how are you prioritizing it?

Curriculum Choices

Well, as you've probably already gathered, we are homeschoolers. I want to talk about the recent doubt, second-guessing, fear that overtook me. I've been researching curriculum for probably close to 3 years, because I knew I wanted to homeschool, and I didn't know what curriculum I wanted to use. As we have grown and moved forward, I had narrowed it down to the curriculum I grew up using, and the curriculum a friend is using with great success. It came down to time to order, and I honestly was stuck. Looking back, I probably should have hit my knees at that moment (oddly enough, we want a VERY God centered curriculum...so why didn't I? Maybe I should blog about it...). I finally decided on a curriculum, partially due to cost, partially due to familiarity, partially due to accreditation. Oh, and testing. I like testing. So does my oldest offspring. So, I made my choice, made my order, and waited. Two days later (I think?) I got the email asking me and my oldest to get online and take the big entrance test. He did STELLAR - of 75 questions he only missed 2, and they were in different subject areas. Let me tell you now, I didn't want to let him get those questions wrong. I knew we were dealing with a touch of boredom, and we had reviewed that particular lesson the day before. But, I swallowed my Mommy-pride and let him answer for himself.

Fast forward, test results are in, books in transit (and I'm checking FedEx obsessively) and a catalog comes in the mail. From my other very possible option for curriculum. And as I turned the pages of a full color catalog, and read all of the great reviews, and reconsidered that my friend is using it with so much success, I panicked. What had I done? Why didn't I pick "this one"? It is so much better, it's this, it's that, the list went on, and I cried. Oh yes, I did. Because my kids are important to me, their education is important to me, and just brushing this off was not okay with me. I want the best for them. I want to push them without plowing them over, I want to challenge them, without creating a brick wall to stop them. I want this process to be the best we can make of it. Suddenly, this full color catalog catapulted me into "failure Mom" thoughts. How could I have picked the wrong one? I put the catalog down and got busy on the house. I wondered about returning the other books. I wondered about selling them on Craigslist and just buying the other curriculum.

The day progressed like this. I worried endlessly. Then Stacy got home. He discussed with me all of the pros and cons for both programs. Certainly the pros are much greater for BOTH programs. I was still worried. I'm the only person I know using the curriculum I picked. Then, the very next day, our books arrived.

Guess what? They are as amazing as I knew they would be. My son is as happy and excited as I had hoped for. I made the right choice for our family for this year. Oddly enough, making that choice didn't come lightly, but all it took was one full-color catalog to make me doubt myself. The other curriculum looks fantastic, and I'm glad it's one that is out there and offered. And you never know, I may need a completely different curriculum for boy #2...he learns different than my oldest.

Well, I have lesson plans to write! If you want to know more about the curriculum I picked go to: http://www.homeschools.org

Word Count

I have a question. How long should a blog post be? I think it's supposed to be a fairly quick read. Not something that takes an hour to get through. People read blogs on lunch and during their 15 minute breaks at work, right? I know that if a blog is too long, I don't read the whole thing, but what is too long?

I've become obsessed with Word Count. Suddenly, my novel revolves around Word Count; my blog: Word Count; my devotional: Word Count. You got it. I'm not stuck on page numbers or chapters. Word Count got me. It grabbed me by the chin, spun me around, and forced me to pay attention. So now, I'm obsessing. I keep trying to tell Word Count that content is what matters. Somehow, I find myself wondering though, if content is what matters, but it takes an hour to read my blog post of the day, is it ever going to get read? I'm sure there are some diehards out there that wouldn't give up after the first 5 minutes, but then again, are there?

So then I break the super long posts into two, or three, posts. Is that good or bad? What if someone doesn't know the back story, does post 3 still make sense? My goodness, I'm in a tail spin now!

So, how long should a blog post be? How long will you spend reading one post before you move on to the next? Is it entirely dependent on content, or does length have an effect on you?

Life: Full Steam Ahead!

My oh my! Life is insane right now, in the best way ever! In 23 hours I will be getting on the highway with one of my girlfriends so she can do research for her novel, so I can take a retreat to dig deeper into mine, and so we can just enjoy a few days of Mom time! In the midst of preparing for all of that, our new school books arrived!!

So, I now have to make sure I write next weeks lesson plan, so we can start on Monday. I'm going to try to get about 6 weeks of lesson plans ready next week, so I'm not worrying about it every weekend. I can just look it over, make sure we are ready to tackle the material I planned for, and we can do it.

Am I nuts for thinking Kindergarten is so much bigger of a deal than Pre-K? I mean, it's not like I'm a total rookie to homeschooling. I was homeschooled. I have been a huge proponent of being my child's first teacher, yet all these books, all the planning that I get to do, seems so much bigger! It's like Kindergarten is official, how silly is that?!

Thankfully, I chose a well rounded curriculum that sent all of the books I need for the year. We will go to the library for some extra reading/non-school or to expand on what we are learning, depending on the topic. This year our subjects are: Bible, Reading, Spelling & Handwriting, Grammar & Phonics, History, Science, Math, Health, and the option to add "other" - I'm thinking that "other" can come in later years!

What are you doing this spring? Are you staying busy?

The Book of James

I seem to turn back to the same book repeatedly in the Bible. I have, in front of me, roughly 1100 pages of wisdom from God, and there is one book that sticks out to me time and time again. Maybe it's just that it's the easiest book in the Bible for me to find. Okay, wait. It's the easiest book in my personal Bible, for me to find. Why? Because some darling, precious offspring of mine decided to take my pink highlighter, and highlight....the first two pages of James. Unfortunately, to adult eyes, his attempt at highlighting looks way too much like scribbling. Yet, God has even used pink highlighter in my Bible to help me gain a better perspective on things.

I learned that, while what is written in the Bible is wisdom for leading a life honoring to God, the actual book, sitting in front of me, is just printed pages. If I worship these printed pages more than I worship God, I have chosen an idol for myself. I also learned that my son's know my Bible is special, and they want to know why. They want to be part of the times that I read it, they want to read it, they are familiar with the pages of my Bible. They like my Bible more than they like their own. Maybe, if I avoid harsh words about a highlighter incident now, then when they can read, they will still love this ol' thing, and will read it. Maybe their adoration for my Bible will ultimately lead them to the cross and an adoration for Christ that will propel them forward in all the things they will face in this life.

I don't want them to be afraid of any Bible, let alone mine. I don't want my kids to think printed pages are more important than them. I don't want them to think they can't share these truths with me. So, as I sit down to read James, I am thanking God for the scribbles. My Bible was not something my children considered off limits, and I am thankful for that. I hope to impart a better sense of how to take care of the things we are stewards over, don't get me wrong, I'm not all for tearing up literature, especially the Bible. But, I'd rather have a few more lessons about taking good care of our blessings, than trying to repair the damage of over reacting to an incident that really shouldn't be that big of a deal.

"Wherefore, my beloved breathren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." James 1:19, 20 (KJV)

Faith and Works

Faith and Works

I read this a few days ago: http://donmilleris.com/2011/04/05/unlike-todays-church-leaders-none-of-the-early-disciples-were-professional-educators/

Then today, I read this in James 2 (NIV, 2011):

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?

15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.

16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?

17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.
19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
20 You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is dead?
21 Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar?
22 You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.
23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend.
24 You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.
25 In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction?
26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

First off, my mindset, and point is action, far more than leadership (which is what the other blog was about). I believe that we all have a calling to leadership - but that does not look the same in each life. We are not all called to be Pastors, but we all have a circle of influence, people looking up to us, and we get the opportunity to lead them. As for action, watch out, I sometimes get up on a soapbox about this stuff.

Action is being the hands and feet. Action is defined this way: something done or performed; act; deed. There is one calling on all of our lives that I am certain of. This call is action. I don't believe God commissions any of His followers to be lazy. Laziness is against scripture, and it is against the very nature of God Himself. He was not lazy in His pursuit of us, or in His pursuit of His own glory. We should not be lazy in our pursuit of Him, or His glory. By lazy, rest assured, I don't just mean sleeping through our quiet times. Don't get me wrong, quiet times, times of prayer, and reading scripture, are habits we should strive for, even Jesus spent time in prayer and connecting with God, away from the crowds.

Lazy, as I am referring to it here, is just that. It is just a 6 AM quiet time, two or three days a week, with church on Sunday. Great message, Preacher, have a good week! Then it fades from our mind, and more importantly our action. We go about our daily lives, not displaying or doing the Word. We don't talk about it unless someone is in our Christian circle.

How many of you know someone that is hurting? What can you do today? Can you take them dinner? Call them? Send a card? Go to them and pray with them? Can you offer to run some errands for someone that needs a little help? You don't have to look far to see the call to action, there are hurting people all around us. There are people in our lives that are hurting, and we don't even know it. Pray for God to open your eyes, pray for courage, and step out in faith. Your faith should be compelling you to action, and that little voice that is saying it's not worth it, you can't do it, they don't need it, you are too busy, that, my friend, is the enemy. He is tempting you to be lazy, he is tempting you to ignore the very calling that is upon your life. He is hoping that you will quite simply, do nothing.

I'd love to hear your comments and know what actions you take. Which actions are easier for you? Which ones are harder? Is it easy for you to hide behind a quiet time and forget to reach out in action?

Always Learning

I try to take an always learning approach to blogging and writing. I want to learn how to write better stories. I want to learn how to reach out to people more. I want to captivate my audience. My audience. Who is my audience? I’m still struggling with defining who, exactly, I want to write to.

Here are the things I currently do to keep learning:

I subscribe to the Merriam Webster online dictionary word of the day!

My word on 4/2 was:

meshuggener:

noun

a foolish or crazy person

I don’t think I had ever heard that word before.

How about this one:

farouche

adjective

1. unruly or disorderly : wild

2. marked by shyness and lack of social grace

Wouldn’t it be easier to just say children? No, no, no! Farouche (pronounced fuh-roosh) is far more fun to say!

I enjoy learning new words, and refreshing my memory on old words.

I also read. Mostly I’ve been reading other blogs. I like to read books too. Usually I pick fiction for my book time, but lately I’ve even found my nose in a few books about writing. Books about writing clearer, getting published, and what to expect along the journey toward being a real writer.

Why do I keep getting stuck on that? A real writer. As a friend and I recently confirmed for each other, we are real writers. We spend hours perfecting this hobby of ours. We won’t use the term author until we are published, but published or not, we pour our hearts into this craft. For now, this is a time consuming hobby. For the future? I have no idea.

What is your hobby? What do you do to improve your skill?

Me, a Morning Person?

Could it be? I certainly never thought so, yet I’m writing this post at 3:30 in the morning, I’ve been awake for two hours, I’m not regretting it…yet. My house is quiet, my fingers are tapping away at the keyboard, and I’m getting the “me” time that every Mom I know craves.

My trick? Well, for starters, I went to bed at 9pm last night. I’ve been trying to get up at 5am – which is very early for me. In my efforts, I’ve been pushing my midnight bedtime back a little every night. 9pm is the magic hour. I fell asleep within ten minutes, slept like a rock until 1:30am, then I sprang up out of bed, ready to go! I switched some laundry, brewed some coffee, got a cup of water, and here I sit.

I did, unfortunately, wake up the snoozer – which was not my attention. My advice, from personal experience: Skip the laundry at this hour. Just get your coffee, use the bathroom, wash your face, and retreat to your personal space. I spent half an hour of my “me” time apologizing for my blunder. Not that I had to. I just felt really, really badly.

So badly, in fact, that while I desperately want to put the clothes that just finished washing into the dryer, I won’t. Not until daylight gleams through the windows and the people in this house expect to wake up.

Are you a morning person or a night owl? What does your “me” time look like?

Making Life Easier….One Post at a Time

I have discovered my newest blogging tool:

http://explore.live.com/windows-live-writer?os=other

Windows Live Writer.

No, I am not getting paid to say this. I mean it. Honestly. In fact, it was even my idea to write this post.

I downloaded the program a week ago, per another blogger’s suggestion: http://confessionsofahomeschooler.blogspot.com/2011/03/how-do-you-do-it-all.html

After download, it sat. Just sat. That’s it. I didn’t open it. I did not look around. Well, today I’m using it for the first time, and I am thankful to have stumbled upon it!

I don’t hardly know anything about it yet. What I do know: When inspiration strikes, I can use it to write as many posts as I’d like, and I can schedule when they post. Date and time. How cool is that? So, if I whip up 7 posts for the week, they can post one day at a time, at the same time every day. This lends to some consistency that I’m not the best at.

I love to write, and I often have a folder full of blog posts, but they don’t get posted with any form of regularity because I’m the brainless wonder of the century. So, this is my tool for regulating when my posts publish. How cool is that?

What do you use to make blogging a more streamlined process?

Temptation: The Hidden Opportunity

I have to be honest and say this post was inspired by our small group study. It is relevant, and I’ve been stuck thinking about it.

Too often, I think we look at temptation as the sin itself. I wonder why we do this. Maybe it happens because we feel weak and powerless to stop it? We can’t control when it happens to us? It is catered to us so perfectly, we don’t feel strong enough to resist?

Yet, temptation is not the same thing as sin.

By Definition:

Temptation:

–noun

1. the act of tempting; enticement or allurement.

2. something that tempts, entices, or allures.

3. the fact or state of being tempted, especially to evil.

Tempt:

–verb (used with object)

1. to entice or allure to do something often regarded as unwise, wrong, or immoral.

2. to attract, appeal strongly to, or invite: The offer tempts me.

3. to render strongly disposed to do something: The book tempted me to read more on the subject.

4. to put (someone) to the test in a venturesome way; provoke: to tempt one's fate.

5. Obsolete. to try or test.

Sin:

 

–noun

1. transgression of divine law: the sin of Adam.

2. any act regarded as such a transgression, especially a willful or deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.

 

So, by my understanding, temptation is the desire to do something, the appeal to do something, and we should avoid it when the desire does not line up with the Word of God.

Sin is the action of wrong-doing.

Therefore, temptation is an opportunity that should have two arrows on either side of it. Showing the opposite directions of the given opportunity.

Take the opportunity! But do so with caution, the opportunity you want to be taking is to deny Satan, walk away from temptation, and therefore to begin to look more like Christ.

This is, by no means, a challenge to readily expose ourselves to temptation. We can’t hide from it, though. So, why not be ready? Why not etch the truth on our hearts, follow Jesus’ perfect example, and face the opportunity without fear? Temptation is not a curse. It is an opportunity to grow. It is an opportunity to choose to obey our Heavenly Father, the God who loves us, created us, and watches over us.

What is your approach to temptation? Do you recognize temptation when it appears, or does the recognition come after it has passed?

facebook Friends: part 2

Part 1: http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/04/facebook-friends.html

So, after two comments on my FB page about this post, I am adding more thoughts.

Oddly enough, the two comments came from two ladies that were my childhood heroes, and I had lost contact with them over the years.

I didn't have either of their phone numbers, or addresses. (Not saying I couldn't have gotten them...)

With the addition of them to my FB friends list, we have shared many comments back and forth. So, in light of this, I am forced (pleasantly) to reevaluate some of my post. There are people in my life, that I get to share tidbits of life with, thanks to FB. I even have a friend that I met on FB, have never met in person, and love dearly.

FB is not all bad.

Another friend called me last night, reading my post inspired her to call, and we had a great visit. I even called her back later. I talked to my sister twice on the phone yesterday. It felt so good to hear these voices, to share a verbal conversation. I truly enjoyed touching base in such a way.

My FB page is....for the time being....here to stay! I do get to visit with and comment on many people's lives and daily activities, that I would have no connection with whatsoever if it weren't for FB. I also let too much time pass by between phone calls sometimes. So, while I think balance can be a huge distraction, maybe this is an area that I will try to find a little balance in.

I love hearing your opinion, thank you for commenting on what I write!

facebook Friends

I've been thinking lately, and I'm noticing this sad trend on my beloved FB wall. See, I know that some of my friends are facing hardships...and some of the people I don't really know all that well, but I kind of recognize are too. I also notice that people that I perceive to be the "best friend" of these various friends are commenting with questions and question marks that cause me to assume they don't know what's going on either.




Why don't we just pick up the phone anymore? Why don't we call?



I know with two kids running around the house, meals to be made, school to be completed, text conversations make my life simpler. I also know that people around me are hurting and maybe hearing a compassionate voice would do more good than a FB heart.



Don't get me wrong, I send FB hearts. I don't pick up the phone. It's hard to call. It's hard to hear the broken heartedness of someone going through a trial. A heart is so much easier to type than listening when you have absolutely nothing to say.



Yet, I know I am missing out. I have been blessed with a few special girlfriends in my life, some of them I never speak to anymore, some I speak to more often, some I don't even know where to find or how to get in touch with. With those relationships I have shared hours of phone conversations, the sharing of hearts and heartbreaks. I have visited well into the wee hours of the morning, dreaming about life, mourning the losses, finding joy in success and wondering what God intends to use it all for. Now I'm missing out. I don't call. I text. I check FB. It's easier.



Now, don't let me steal the validity of this form of communication, either. I have some very dear girlfriends that I rarely "speak" to, but I visit with all the time. One in particular I text nearly all day long, and she has been a huge inspiration lately!



I'm just pondering the connectedness that FB leads us to believe we have, how false that is at times, and how much of an impact a phone call, or even better, a visit, has on someone. I know that I love when my phone rings. I know I love to hear a knock on my door. Yet, as I get more immersed in social networking and texting conversations, the more awkward I feel on the phone.



How do you feel about this? Does talking on the phone feel awkward to you because of internet communication and/or texting?

Coloring Books...Better Than Movies?

Who knew? It seems in my house a coloring book provides as many hours of entertainment as a movie...more actually, because I don't limit coloring time! Looks like I need to go get some new sketch pads, because they both love blank paper, and I appear to have two little artists emerging. As I watch them develop their coordination, I can't help but wonder what their talents and skills will be.




As I wonder about their talents and skills, I wonder if I am equipped to lead them to live into their talents and skills. So I asked myself this:



Have I identified my talents and skills?



Writing, baking, mothering, photography, and I have a passion for farming.



Then this:



What am I doing to build my skills and talents?



Can we let writing be self-explanatory - seeing how I'm writing this blog and all?

Baking: I usually bake something once a week, sometimes twice.

Mothering: DAILY SKILL BUILDING!! LOL

Photography: I have been using my camera mostly regularly, and enjoying it.

Farming: The first step, in my opinion, is getting debt free. We are working on a budget to do

just that.



Then this:



Am I seeking God in the development of my own skills?



Not like I should. God is really asking me to pray and read His word to help develop my talents and passions right now. I have another post about all of the things I want to do: http://perceptionsby1.blogspot.com/2011/03/so-many-dreams.html
and I believe God wants me to be seeking Him to discover which talents and skills should be a priority, and which other things are merely interests.



and finally:



Am I praying and seeking God for His strength and guidance in guiding my boys?



Again, not like I should, but I am growing. I will continue to pray for them, and as they continue to grow I will encourage them to seek Him. I want to become more intentional about my prayers for them, praying for specific guidance, and praying for specific wisdom when it comes to raising them.



How about you? What are you answers to these very same questions?

A Real Writer

Oh how I want to be a real writer. How wonderful would that be? Authoring articles and columns and books?! Being featured in the local newspaper, a national magazine, having a New York Times bestseller? I think all of the above would totally rock my world.




I keep disqualifying myself. It's usually the stupidest things that disqualify me, too. Like, learning how someone else has outlined a book, or created successful dialogue in their book. I think, nearly instantly, I don't do it that way, I'm not a real writer.



Then something I read talks about publishing terms, author's rights, subsidiary rights, and I think I'm not a real writer, I don't know about any of that.



Query letters come up, and I have yet to write my first one, and I begin wondering if I can ever become a real writer.



Yet, here I am, with a blog. A blog that I enjoy immensely no matter how much traffic shows up. A blog that I am dedicated to developing further as I learn more about myself. I also have a book in the making. Whether or not anyone else likes it, my Mom and I are enjoying it.



Maybe I am defining my success by what I consider to be the success of others. Maybe success for me is discovering what I'm passionate about through writing and in writing. Maybe success for me is just knowing I started, and finished, a book. Maybe success for me is writing a blog for a whole year...or maybe five years. While yes, I will admit that I want what I write to be well read by many, maybe I should stop defining success by how many people are reading. Maybe I should define success by the quality of each piece I write.



So, as I continue on this writing journey, I'm going to work toward producing quality, and set my standard for myself high. Then, maybe, just maybe, I'll look for some success by how many people are reading.



How do you define success?

Am I Content?

I have a fairly cool life. I have gadgets, video game systems, a smart phone, laptop, etc. I have books, and DVD's, CD's and photo albums. I have stuff. I have kids. I have vehicles. A roof. A dog. A horse. Food. I have the essentials...plus a lot more. And it is pretty awesome, most of the time.




Yet, I usually want more. Wait. I want more. Always. I always want more. There is always something else I want. I could list off a few things, ready? Go: Kindle, Ipod touch, PS3, new entertainment center, another bookcase, a desk, a new dresser, new clothes, a new pair of shoes, a treadmill, another DVD shelf, etc. etc. etc. Oh, and the big one. More kids. I want to have more kids, at least two more.



Have you seen the mess that is my life? Yeah, more kids is not a good idea. Not that kids aren't great and all, but I live with my ex-husband, as roommates. And I want another baby. Crazy.



Well, my ex got a vasectomy after our youngest was born. I knew then that it was bad idea (wait wait...I went along with it, agreed to it, made logical sense of why we were doing it....I went to the Dr. appointments, in fact, I made the appointments.) and I still think it was a bad idea. He's my ex, but he's the father of the two I already have, he's doing a pretty good job. I'd have more kids with him. Yes, I'm crazy.



And my Mom mentioned prayers for contentment, and it struck me. Like an anvil falling out of the sky. I don't very often look at my life and say, "WOW! Thanks God. This is amazing and please help me be the best I can be to take care of all of this." Nope. Not me. I look at my life and say, "Okay, well. This is working in these areas, but I'd like to change this, move this, update that, add to that, take away from this, scratch that, mix this up. Maybe then, it will be enough."



I take things into my own hands, ignore God, ignore what He is trying to do, the path He has for me, the life He is calling me to, and I venture out on my own. I try to make things go my way, in favor of what I want, and it just messes stuff up. I wish I'd get out of the way!!



So, I am going to examine the areas where I am behaving like I know best, screaming "MY WAY! I HAVE to have this, I don't care what lengths I have to go to. I am doing this. RIGHT NOW." and let go. I'm going to get out the crowbar and pry my fingers off of my life, and let it go. Because God didn't put me here to put me in charge. God put me here to learn to let Him have full control.



Are you content? If not, what area of your life could use more contentment?

Over Reacting

My boys are such curious little beings. I never expected my five year old to be so suave. Certainly not at his age.




We had to get gasoline and as soon as we climbed out of the truck, he noticed two teenage girls. He promptly called out, "Hey ladies." His tone was far too grown up, and far too suave. They didn't notice. Whew.



We walked into the station, and he marched right up to the counter, promptly telling the woman behind the counter, "You are beautiful." Oh heavens. Hush boy. Yet, she was flattered, and he immediately showed off his muscles. This has been my daily encounter with other women for the last week or so.



Yet, Mr. Suave has this crushing ability to point out my weight. I have told him that the way he does it is rude, and I am horrified that this will become a publicly embarrassing moment for myself and possibly someone else.



His younger brother got one up on him the other day. He horrified me. He embarrassed me, and made me mad!



We were leaving the grocery store (where Mr. Suave had told the checker she was beautiful) and one of the nice, older men that helps bag groceries and carry them to the car, was entering the store. He told the boys, "Bye guys!"



My youngest promptly replied, "Bye Bagger!"



The man coming in behind the store employee says, "What'd that kid just say to you?"



My youngest, "I said, Bye Bagger!"



Me: Utterly horrified. I yelled at him all the way to the truck. I told him we call men "Sir" that calling them names is unacceptable. I was livid. I was horribly embarrassed. I didn't know if we should march back in and apologize, or speed away and NEVER return. My heart was pounding in my chest, my eyes stung. I was about to cry, and I was furious. I had no idea where my child learned to be so utterly disrespectful and rude.



And then his pitiful face made me realize, as I had brought him to tears too, that he had no idea he was being rude. The man bags groceries. There's no shame in that. He has a job, and he does it well. He's always nice to us, smiling, pleasant, helpful. My son, who is only 3, had no idea that it was rude to identify that guy by his job description. Neither of us knew his name, which is way more my bad then my boys. And I hugged my baby. And apologized.



Looking back, I wish I had taken him inside and had him explain that he just knew that he bagged groceries and apologize. But I didn't.



Have you ever over reacted to something your child did in innocence?

So Many Dreams

I have been trying to figure out what I am truly passionate about versus what I am only interested in. There are so many things I would like to accomplish in my lifetime. I'll list a few of my dreams:
1. A farm - I want to own my own farm, complete with goats, lambs, chickens, a huge garden, some fruit trees, a great play area, horses, a round pen and arena, a chicken coop, a barn, etc. I want 10-15 acres and I want to spend my time outside, working hard and enjoying the benefits of the labor.
2. I want to own real estate. I want to have rental properties specifically. I want to be a kind landlord, that offers reasonable rent rates, great service, and great homes for people to rent.
3. I want to open a bakery. I love to make sweet treats, and I want to spend all day doing that in a medium sized commercial grade kitchen. I want to see the smiles on peoples faces when they enjoy the things I baked.
4. I want to make a career of writing. I'm working on a novel and two blogs. I want to write articles, columns, books, etc. I also would like to do some public speaking.
5. I want to read a book a week for the rest of my life.
6. I want to write my own home school curriculum instead of purchasing one, yet I feel horribly inadequate to do so.
7. I want train horses and give horse riding lessons, and compete nationally with my horses. I want to teach kids and adults alike to ride and enjoy horses. I want to train horses that go on to compete nationally.
Those are the main ones the are currently circulating through my brain every day. I don't even know how to begin weeding them out. I can see combining #1 & #7 - that makes sense to me. #4 & #5 can go hand in hand - because reading will sharpen my writing skills. I believe I could come up with a great home school curriculum, but doing it is always where I get sidetracked. It's just easier to buy one, ya know? A bakery and real estate? How many hours do I think are in a day?!? Yet, I can't seem to figure out which is more or less important to me.
How about you? What do you dream of doing? Are you working on making any of your dreams a reality?

Equipped

Or rather ill-equipped is how I am feeling right now. I am at a loss for words to comfort a friend, and I'm feeling like I'm just not equipped for the things I've been given. I want to do it all, be all, see all, experience all, and at the end of the day, I'm usually left feeling like I missed something big. Should have said something more. Should have....would have....could have...and I'm thinking that I'm just not the right fit.

Have you ever felt that way? Cause I look around at the people in my life and for the most part, everyone has it together. I envision perfectly serene homeschooling days, super spotless homes, warm, nutritious meals three times a day, and two balanced snacks between meals. I see early risers making sure to clean and do dishes before the day begins. Those same early risers then stay up until the wee hours of the night making, baking, building, preparing, planning, cutting, crafting, creating, sewing, etc. to start all over and rise early and run this perfect home.

And I stand with my head tilted to the side, and begin blaming myself for being lazy, not planning, not doing, not preparing, not forcing my sleepy self out of bed, for all of the things I get impatient about. For all of the times the dishes sit. For all of the laundry that's not where it belongs yet, whether it be clean or dirty. I look at my house and want to organize it, yet, I've run out of places to put things because I don't have much room for bookshelves in my apartment.

Today I was praying. And crying. I wanted to know what I'd been doing wrong and why God picked me for something. I am completely ill-equipped to be helpful. No way to share understanding, no way to relate. No experience to draw from. No words to say. No advice to give. No answers. Nothing. I have nothing. And you know what? I think that's the beauty of it.

I think, after being frustrated and angry that I couldn't DO more, when I finally let God's words sink in, He wasn't calling me to DO...just to be. To listen. To love.

Sometimes words of wisdom and advice are necessary, yet other times, no words can help, just a friend who will listen can. Oh how this is a hard lesson for me! I am a talker. I like to say the right things, and do the right things, and have the right, wise words for someone. I much prefer when God uses my mouth than my ears.

But I am just a pot, who am I to question my Creator?

More on the flute...

(I first mentioned the flute here: http://realliferealmessy.blogspot.com/2011/03/faith-or-fear.html)

A flute doesn't doubt that it can play music either. It knows what it was made for, and it doesn't ever try to be the drums, or a canvas, or a photograph, or a vocal chord. It is a flute, and it is shaped to play beautiful music.


God has shaped me to do great things for Him. God has shaped me to serve Him in a unique way. This cannot be an excuse to create my own “truth” (read: lie) about my purpose, or this world, or what I should or shouldn't do. This is a God-given shape, that I should use to serve Him. To know how to do that best, I must read His Word, pray, and seek Him. I should be open and receptive to the Spirit. I should also be obedient. This starts to sound like a lot and I know how many times I've failed in this life. Yet, He sweetly reminds me that I don't have to do this in my own strength. The Holy Spirit lives within me, and God sent Jesus to bridge the gap. His strength will carry me on toward the finish line.

What is your God-given shape (strength, talent, skill, passion)? How are you learning to use your shape for God?

Target Audience

Everything I'm reading about writing is to determine a main subject line and a target audience. I am trying to figure out what I want to write the most about, and I have NO IDEA. I have been considering starting a homeschool blog and a blog about training my horse, but I wonder if that's too much to keep up with. Yet, if I'm supposed to find a main subject line and a target audience...how do I do that when I want to blog about all of those things? Can something like that be determined per piece or article? Not in a blog so much, but do authors ever write about multiple subjects, and get published in multiple avenues?

I know the target audience for the book I'm writing, so that is helpful. I have other book ideas that won't target the same audience, and I'm wondering if that is good or bad. I will continue to write the book I'm currently tangled up in, and hopefully I will find more answers to my questions.

Here are the things I know: I love to write. I love to write about a vast array of topics. I have decided I want to see the things I write in multiple print forms, such as: magazines, books, newspapers, ezines, etc. I want to continue to improve my writing and researching skills. I want to start a new online writing class every 6-12 weeks.

I hope to start my own website this year, and I will use that as an outlet for multiple subjects and topics. I am ready to watch this talent and passion of mine grow, and hopefully as it grows, I will identify the things I truly want to write about.

What are you passionate about and how do you fine-tune your talents and skills?

A Real Cowboy!

Kid's say and do the darndest things. Let me explain. Yesterday we adventured to the library, then to Dollar General for some milk. Having selected our milk and a couple of snacks, we were waiting to check out. As it got to be out turn, a man stepped up behind us, in cowboy boots, wearing a cowboy hat, and Asher turned to talk to him. Asher told him he was a real nice guy, then suddenly, as if just realizing how the man was dressed, he asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

Now, I am naturally inclined to be embarassed, I think, because I instantly wanted to stop my boy in his tracks. Yet, that man was so thrilled by Asher's sincere expression and excitement. He told him, "I supposed I am, I've got five horses." He let Asher think about this, then asked him, "Do you like horses?" Asher literally jumped off the ground, nodded, and told him, "I do, I have one, I have a Cheeky." I was pretty sure the man didn't quite understand, so I told him, "We actually have a horse, too." The boys told the "real" cowboy bye, and waved, and as we were leaving the store, they both let me know how cool it was to meet a "real" cowboy!

Maybe today I'll shock them by telling them that they are "real" cowboys too - hats, boots, and a horse included!