Decisions...

Hello Sunday Night, it's sure been a good day. I went to Summit Church this morning and listened to a thought-provoking message, based on the book of Job. I am so amazed at the way God speaks to me, and the way He reached out today and stopped the why questions and He's given me peace and the great reminder that "God is in control, and Jesus is enough."

I think I'm closer to a decision about church, but it's kind of hinging on an answer I'll get Wednesday when I go to small group. I want to keep going to the small group I'm going to. I am so excited about being a part of this group, and the conversations we have are so helpful to my walk with Christ. I have become a better Mom, I have grown spiritually, and my heart has healed, all because of this group of people that I truly believe God has brought together.

I never imagined myself so torn between two churches, but I am. I want to be planted in a church. I want to be plugged in, volunteering, attending group, bringing my children up with a very high involvement at church. I've never wanted to just attend. I like to contribute. I know I am not able to effectively contribute in both churches, and honestly, I can't think of a "con" list to either church. All I have are "pros" - and it's quite a long list on both sides! It's so crazy.

I still wake up with a heavy heart, and I lay awake at night, going over all of my bad choices and hurtful words that drove Stacy & I apart. I think of the hurts that built walls. I think sometimes I just want to lock my door and hide with my kids. I watch them hurt and struggle. I look at pictures of us as a family. I know my words and actions were less than helpful, but I just can't fathom how we ended up here.

Sundays are my best days.the fellowship and messages lift me up. I keep being attacked by a suffocating guilt, and God keeps sending messages of forgiveness. He keeps reminding me that Jesus covers all and giving me a place of rest and peace. I am grateful that God sees my every need and ministers to me according to that need. God truly is in control, Jesus is always enough. God loves me and Jesus died for me, and together they offer me hope and restoration.

And may this serve as a reminder to you, of the gospel upon which we found our faith. God loves YOU. Jesus died for YOU. Together they offer you hope and restoration.