Struggles

Howdy friends! It's been a while because I'm having some personal, and selfish struggles. I don't know how to write about them without possibly hurting feelings, and that has given me a huge case of writer's block. So I'm writing about having writers block. Creative, huh?
It's been a pretty alright week, and I enjoyed my time with the boys thursday and friday - although by yesterday we were all stir crazy! Stacy picked them up last night and kept them overnight, then I got them at church this morning. We have had a decent day today, just hanging out with each other and taking a long nap. I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself. It's amazing how we define our roles in life based on the relationships we have - and not being a wife anymore has left a void in my life. I want the companionship a marriage provides. I want to feel like a whole family again, not a broken one. I'm not sure how to do that, and I keep feeling very down about it. I keep leaning on the truth that God is in control, and Jesus is enough.
Jesus is enough. It's hard to apply that. I can say it, and think it, and even believe it, but it's hard to apply it. I have to say though, when I pray and ask God to lift the weight off my shoulders, and ease the hole in my heart, He does. And that is when I get the deep breath of relief. I just forget that God has it, and I tug it back on, and let the void back in, and find myself dragging again. Everytime I read my Bible I am encouraged. Everytime I pray. Everytime I go to church. Everytime I meet with my small group. So, I'm going to remember that God is in control, and Jesus is enough. I'm going to continue to surround myself with people, places, and activities that remind me of God's love.
I struggled with the message at church today, and let me encourage you in this: If your pastor offends you, know that he/she is human...and know that there is something to be gained in the hard messages. Don't forget to look past yourself and your pastor to God, and what He has in store for you.
Well, I'll end here. Goodnight.